The USA

In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.

The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo.The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.

On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few bananas.Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from India.The next day the same thing happened. On the third day again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.

The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, 'Don't you know I am the lion...king of the Jungle..., what's wrong with your management?, what nonsense is this?, why are you delivering bananas to me?'

The delivery boy politely said, 'Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but .. did you know that you have been brought here on a monkey's visa!!!Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere!!!!!

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A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog.He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.

A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers:"Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl"

The man says: - "But I am not a New Yorker!"

"Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning:" Brave American saves life of little girl'" - the policeman answers.

"But I am not an American!" - says the man.

"Oh, what are you then?"

The man says: - "I am a Pakistani!"

The next day the newspapers says:"Islamic extremist kills American dog. Connections to terrorist networks are being explored"

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After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Osama is still alive", Osama decided to send George W. aletter in his own writing to let his friend know that he is still in the game.Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain acoded message: 370HSSV-0773H. George W. couldn't figure it out so he typed it in and e-mailed Colin Powell. Colin and his aids had no clue either so they sent it to the CIA. No one could solveit so it went to the NSA and then to MIT and NASA andthe cc list got longer and longer.Eventually it arrived at the Fed. Dr. Greenspan lookedat it and replied the next second: "Perhaps thePresident would wish to look at the messageup-side-down....".

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In the United States, a guy is in his car on themotorway when it arrives at traffic jam.

A while later, someone knocks on his window. The guy rolls down his window and asks "What's happening?"

The other guy says "Terrorists have taken Bush hostage and demand a million dollars, otherwise theywill pour gasoline on him and throw a match at him.So, I'm going from car to car to collect donations."

The driver asks: "And how much do people give?"

"5-10 liters. It depends."

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Osama bin Laden and one of his followers were riding on a camel when they stopped at a small town.

Bin Laden gets off the camel and lifts up its tail and looks at the camel's butt, just then a guy comes over and says, "What are you doing?"

Osama replies, "About 2 miles back I heard someone say, 'Hey, look at the two assholes on that camel.'"

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Saddam's phone call to Bush on September 11, 2001

Saddam: "President Bush, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy - so many people, such great buildings. I want toassure you we had nothing to do with that - it was not us."

Bush: "What? - What buildings? What people?"

Saddam: "Ummm...what time is it in America now?"

Bush: "It's 8:00 in the morning."

Saddam: "Ooops... Sorry I'll call you again in an hour. Bye."

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