My SCRAPBOOK (సేకరణలు): A COLLECTION of articles in English and Telugu(తెలుగు), from various sources, on varied subjects. I do not claim credit for any of the contents of these postings as my own.A student's declaration made at the end of his answer paper, holds good to the articles here too:"I hereby declare that the answers written above are true to the best of my friend's knowledge and I claim no responsibility whatsoever of the correctness of the answers."

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Sardarji Again…


  • Why couldn't the sardarji write the number "eleven"?

He didn't know which "one" came first...


  • Why does a Sardarji keep empty beer bottles in his fridge?

They're there for those who don't drink.


  • A sardarji was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile. Then the foreman asked the sardarji why he kept painting less each day.

He replied "I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can".


  • Banta Singhji was painting his living room one hot day.

"Why", his friend Santa Singh asked him, "are you wearing two jackets?".

"Because," said Banta Singhji, "The directions on the can said to put on two coats."


  • Why are the sardarjis as secret agents the best in the world?

Because even under torture they can't remember what they have been assigned to.


  • Cow in the sky.

A sardarji was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over him. The sardarji says, "Good thing that cows don't fly".


  • Cell Phone.

A sardarji is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?"


  • Once a sardarji asks another sardar...

Sardarji #1: Tell me what's in my hand? And if you're right, then I will give this button to you.

Sardarji #2 (Thinking): No not like this. Give me some sort of clue.

Sardarji #1: Okay! This thing is round in shape.

Sardar #2 (Again thinking): Many things are round in shape. Give me another clue.

Sardarji #1: This thing has 4 holes in it.

Sardarji #2: I got it. I got it.

Sardarji #1: Bol to kya hai mera hath mein.

Sardarji #2: Scooter ka paiya. (Wheel of a scooter)


  • After death, Banta Singhji reached the door of the heaven smoothly. There he met Saint Peter and he said, 'Well, Banta...It is nice to talk to you but we have changed our policy these days. I will ask you a question and you need to answer it correctly before you go in. Bantaji, with lot of self confidence told Saint Peter to go ahead and ask him the damn question.

Saint Peter - How many seconds are there in a year?

Bantaji, after lot of thought, answered,'12'.

Astonished Saint Peter asked him - But how?

Bantaji - January 2nd,February 2nd,March 2nd,..........


  • One day a Sardarji talking with his friend.......

Sardarji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or we will not be able to communicate with my child.

Friend: Is it! Why?

Sardarji: We have adopted a Telugu child and it will start to speak after 6 months.

________________

SARDARJEE’S 21 CENTURY MEDICAL DICTIONARY

Antibody - against everyone

Artery - The study of the paintings.

Bacteria - back door to a cafeteria.

Caesarean section - a district in Rome.

Cardiology - advance study of poker playing.

Cat scan - searching for lost kitty.

Chronic - neck of a crow.

Coma - punctuation mark.

Cortisone - area around local court.

Cyst - short for sister.

Diagnosis - person with slanted nose.

Dilate - the late British Princess Diana.

Dislocation - in this place.

Duodenum - couple in blue jeans.

Enema - not a friend.

Fake labor - pretending to work.

Genes - blue denim.

Hernia - she is close by.

Impotent - distinguished/well known.

Labour pain - hurt at work.

Lactose - people without toes.

Lymph - walk unsteadily.

Microbes - small dressing gown.

Obesity - city of Obe.

Pacemaker - winner of Nobel peace prize.

Proteins - in favor of teens.

Pulse - grain.

Pus - small cat.

Red blood count - Dracula.

Secretion - hiding anything.

Tablet - small table.

Ultrasound - radical noise.

Urine - opposite of you're out.

Varicose - very close.

_____________________________________________

(an email forward)

____________________________________________

Labels:

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home