2042- long tongue

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten Black and Blue.
Doctor: "What happened?
Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes
home drunk he beats me senseless.
Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just drink some water and hold it in your mouth. hold it in but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is asleep.
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I kept the water in my mouth. Held it in till he sleeps, and he didn't touch me!"
Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps".
Ye joke banane wale ko 21 topo ki salami....😂😂😂
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2040- Husband and wife

Husband sent n sms to Wife:
Thanks for making my life wonderful and being a part of my life. What ever I am is only because of u, u r my angel thanks for coming into my life and making it worth living.
You're Great.

SHE REPLIED : Have u finished drinking? now stop messaging , keep your mouth shut & come home, don't get scared , I will not shout at you... Come home fast
Husband: Thank you.I am outside, please open the door!!😜
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2027- Liquor

2001- It's the weekend! Hic!

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In our life, problems may go from "Haywards 2000"🍺 to "Haywards 5000"🍺 , but we must take them as a "Royal Challenge "🍺 otherwise people will call us "Old Monk"🍺 and put a "Black Label "🍺 on our name. So we must learn from "Teachers"🍺 to fight like "Jack Daniel"🍺 , live like a "Bagpiper"🍺 , walk like "Johny Walker"🍺 , work till "8 PM"🍺 & think like "Director Special" 🍺 . Then life will be "Imperial"🍺 & we will become "Aristocrat"🍺 & there will be value for our "Signature"🍻🍺🍺😜😜
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1996- Drinking & driving is extremely dangerous

Please forward this to all who you care for!
A serious warning to all my friends.
Drinking & driving is extremely dangerous .
Last evening while driving, My friend put his arm out of the window to indicate that he is turning right & someone snatched his Beer.!!!!!

Rascals!!😡
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1974- Choose few drops or 2 pegs

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Tips for women who love to cook!!!
They work like magic !!!

1)while seasoning / if you put few drops of whiskey the oil doesn't burn..
2)while kneading dough put a few drops of beer and the chapatis will be golden brown..
3)if you add a few drops of vodka in dhal it will not spoil in summer time..
4) while making kadhi if you add a few drops of brandy the buttermilk will not be too sour and kadhi will taste yum..
5)putting red wine in rasam will enhance the taste n digestion..
If you can't manage the above,
..
..
pour 2 pegs in to your husband's stomach,then it doesn't matter how the food tastes!!

1968- Alcohol

1931 Husband care center

1923- Single malt or ...

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A lady visited a bar in America for the first time. She sat at the table in front of the bar tender.

A guy on her left ordered, "Jack Daniels, single".
A guy on her right ordered, "Johnny Walker, single".
The bar tender looked at the lady & said, "And you?"
Lady replied, "Meenachi Chockalingam, married".

          
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1629- Spiritual...

1361- JEST JOKING...

"Alcohol doesn't make you fat...
it makes you Lean......
on tables, chairs & random people."
 

1320 - FANTASTIC...

 

via Facebook

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1303-Drinker

via Facebook/ Think Different
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1270-Philosophy...

(via Facebook/ Think Different)
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1194- A great solvent

via Facebook/ Fun For Lungs

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1176- Drink & Drive

Via email- Ramam Vadlamani

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1160-How to build the best friendship & Diet?

 

via Facebook/ The LASS Bible
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1153- Help for alcoholics...

 

aiv facebook/ Sarvamangala Chavali

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1140- You can 'speakeasy' !

(via Facebook/ Ravi Shendarkar)
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BEER IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEART......

Beer drinkers are to cheer about the report...........
The consumption of beer in MODERATE quantities could reduce the risk of heart diseases. the findings are based on a meta-analysis of several different studies conducted worldwide from over 2,00,000 people's drinking habits, conducted by Italy's Fondazione di Rcerca e Cura.........................................
Cardiolist Dr.Hasmukh Rawat says "Beers are virtually fat and fibre free, and contain some protein. Most provide some carbohydrates, potassium, magnesium and B vitamins- including folic acid- which can lower homocysteine levels in blood. High homosteine levels are a possible risk factor for heart disease."
........................The polyphenolics (similar to antioxidents) found in red wine or beer, such as flavonoids and resveratrol, may play an active role in limiting the start and progression of the hardening of arteries. .........................................


Exercise caution:
........................................Physician Dr Altaf Patel concludes with words of caution, "Don't encourage teetotaler to drink. It can be disastrous, and those that like to drink should switch to milder alcohol like beer and wine and consume it within appropriate limits."
(Times of India, Chennai, 24:11:2011)

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