The ispeech:

A schoolmaster from a remote rural village was transferred to a school in mumbai. He reported for duty two days before august 15th and, as was the practice in the school, was asked to address the assembly on Independence Day. Here’s his dynamite speech:

“Leddies and Gentulmens, Contemporaries, Children. This is my first maiden speech. If small small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following reason. Too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket. I put complaint on stationmaster. He said me to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my son. Anyway I thanked the stationmaster because he was responsible for getting birth of my son.
We got independence because of great leaders like Gandhiji who getoutted all angrezi peoples from India. Tilak said Swaraj is our birth-rate and we shall halve it. Today we all halve our birth-rate. You children are future dynamic generators of the nation. Look into future time only. No backside looking, or looking at your behind. Be like great like X’ raj ranjan of Germany Or Presidents like Loosebelt.
You know genius, no? It is one percent perspiration and 97% evaporation. They became great by reading great books. After we finish you here in this school, you can go to college and get B.A., M.A., and other decrease. Then you can become great liars in the supreme courts, shattered accountants, or leacherers in college.
The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, school is the soil. We will bury you in this soil, pour water of knowledge on your heads and one day will become great phools. Many vacancy jobs come in newspapers. Only yesterday I saw in paper “ Wanted for refuted engineering firm: Generators high power condensers “ so on and so forth etc. these jobs may be teeknickel, But you can rise.
If you have flare in English, you can become teacher. I’ am now ending this fastly. My God blast you! Thank you and thank God I’m finished.
Joy Hind!!! How mean!!! (Ameen)”
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