My SCRAPBOOK (సేకరణలు): A COLLECTION of articles in English and Telugu(తెలుగు), from various sources, on varied subjects. I do not claim credit for any of the contents of these postings as my own.A student's declaration made at the end of his answer paper, holds good to the articles here too:"I hereby declare that the answers written above are true to the best of my friend's knowledge and I claim no responsibility whatsoever of the correctness of the answers."

Wednesday, April 04, 2018

2188 confidence


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2187 CRYING AND TRYING


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2186 You too Shakespeare!


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2185 😀 !!!JUST IN JEST!!! 😀

MESSAGE FROM A FRIEND IN CHINA :~

The VOLATILE STOCK MARKET AFFECT human beings & their best friends.

Last month, MARKET was GOOD, my DOG ATE WHAT I ATE.
Last week, MARKET was BAD, I ATE WHAT MY DOG ATE.
Yesterday, MARKET CRASHED, I ATE MY DOG.

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2184 Life of others


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Tuesday, April 03, 2018

2183 😀 !!!JUST IN JEST!!! 😀

In an ALCOHOL FACTORY the REGULAR TESTER DIED and the director started LOOKING FOR a NEW ONE TO HIRE.

A DRUNKARD WITH a RAGGED, DIRTY LOOK CAME TO APPLY for the position.
The director of the factory wondered how TO SEND HIM AWAY. They TESTED HIM.

They gave him a glass with a drink.
He tried it and said, "It's red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers."

"That's correct", said the boss.

another glass. "It's red wine, cabernet, eight years old, a south western slope, oak barrels."

"Correct." The director was astonished.

He winked at his secretary to suggest something.
She brought in a GLASS OF URINE.

The ALCOHOLIC TRIED IT.
"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, made inside the office. And if you don't give me the job, I'll also tell who's the father!"

The boss collapsed...😜

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2182 😀 !!!JUST IN JEST!!! 😀

Teacher - Jayanta, please tell me, what is India Gate?

Jayanta - Sir, India Gate is fine quality basmati rice.....

Teacher - What is Charminar?

Jayanta - Charminar is a very popular cigarette in India and due to its low cost, it is easily affordable.......

Teacher - What is Taj Mahal?

Jayanta - Taj Mahal is packet of tea leaves....

Teacher - Rascal, how dare you give such bullshit answers...
You are spoiling the name of national treasures.......
if you want me to allow you in the classroom tomorrow, don't forget to come with your father's signature!!!!!
           
Jayanta - OK sir.
.
.
.
.
.
Next day.....

Teacher (looking at the table) - Jaaaayaaanta!!!!!
You idiot!!!! How dare you bring whisky bottle inside the classroom?????

Jayanta - Sorry Sir,
But you only told me to bring my father's signature today.... I simply obeyed your order...... Now again you are shouting..... this is not fair, Sir!!!!😇🤣🤣

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2181 Best medicine


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2180 😀 !!!JUST IN JEST!!! 😀

Here's an INTERESTING TAKE ON ASTROLOGY:

During his routine medical check, the long suffering patient asked the doctor, "DO YOU THINK I'LL LIVE a LONG AND HEALTHY LIFE?"

"I DOUBT IT", said the doctor,  " 'MERCURY IS IN URANUS' RIGHT NOW."

The patient said, " I DON'T GO in for any of that ASTROLOGY NONSENSE."

 "NEITHER DO I", REPLIED the DOCTOR,  "MY THERMOMETER JUST BROKE IN YOUR ASS."
🤣🤣🤣

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2179 All are free!


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2178 😀 !!!JUST IN JEST!!! 😀

THREE WOMEN go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation.

They GET DRUNK and WAKE UP IN JAIL, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning – though NONE of them can REMEMBER WHAT THEY DID THE NIGHT BEFORE.

The FIRST ONE, a REDHEAD, is strapped in the ELECTRIC CHAIR and is asked if she has any LAST WORDS. She says, “I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and BELIEVE IN the ALMIGHTY POWER OF GOD to intervene on the behalf of the INNOCENT.”

They throw the SWITCH and NOTHING HAPPENS. The executioners all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

The SECOND ONE, a BRUNETTE, is strapped in and gives her last words. “I just graduated from the Harvard SCHOOL OF LAW and I BELIEVE in the POWER of JUSTICE to intervene on the part of the innocent.”

They throw the SWITCH and again, NOTHING HAPPENS. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.

The LAST ONE, a *BLONDE*, is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m from the University of Texas and just graduated with a DEGREE IN ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING , and I’ll tell ya right now, YA’LL AIN’T GONNA ELECTROCUTE nobody IF you DON’T PLUG THIS THING IN.”

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Thursday, July 13, 2017

2177 ~ ANALOGIES FOR THE SOUL & THE BODY



"You are the light shining upon the wall. Do not venerate the wall.'
(via Julia Hayes)
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"The physical existence is like the peel of a fruit. The peel of fruit has no purpose of its own. Only as a protective layer for the fruit it is meaningful. The moment you eat the fruit the peel goes straight to the trashcan."
-Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev
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"You are God's present being unwrapped.
 Don't identify with the paper."
-Mooji
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2176 ~ WHY ARE PEOPLE UNHAPPY?

(~ Murari Bapu, Femina, March 8 - 22, 1984)

A man had fever and therefore went to a nearby dispensary. On the way, he fell down and had many bruises. When he met the doctor, he was given two medicines- one to swallow for his fever and the other for purely for external application.
The man in his fevered ignorance, came home and drank up the medicine given for the bruises and applied the on the wound- healing neither his fever nor his bruises. in the same manner...

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2175 ~PARAPROSDOKIAN

717/2017
PARAPROSDOKIAN
(Paraprosdokian is a figure of speech, which little known by the general public, but is well understood by satirsts.  The key feature is that the final words make the listener reinterpret the first part of the sentence.)

•I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

•Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others — whenever they go.

•I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure.

•I always take life with a grain of salt… plus a slice of lemon… and a shot of tequila.

•You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

•To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit, the target.

•Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

•A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it, as when you are in it.

•Change is inevitable, except from a bus conductor.

•I used to be conceited, but now I’m perfect.

•Of all the people I’ve ever met, you could be one of them.

•A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

•You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

•The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

•I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

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2174 ~THE ART OF DEALING! 😀

715//2017
😀 !!!JUST IN JEST!!! 😀
*The Art of dealing ....*

A retired old couple returned to a Mercedes dealership where the salesman promised to hold a car for them.

But they found the car was just sold to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde in a mini skirt and a halter top.

The old man was visibly upset. He spoke to the salesman sharply-
"Young man, you said you hold that car till we raised the $95,000 asking price, yet you closed the deal for $75,000 to the young lady there. And if I remember right, you had insisted there was no discount for this model !"

The salesman took a deep breath, cleared his throat and reached for a large glass of water.

"Well, what can I tell you? She had the cash ready, didn't need any financing help, and, Sir, just look at her, how could I resist?", replied the grinning salesman sheepishly.

Just then that young woman walked over to the senior couple and gave the car keys to the old man.

"There you go," she said. "I told you I could get him to lower the price. See you later Dad, Happy Father's day."
😛😛😛😛😛

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2173 ~ PUBLIC SPEEKING

WHAT YOU NEED ARE POWER, POISE & PIZZAZZ
~Shiv Khera
(The Hindu, JUNE 19, 2017 )
____________________________
Do you develop cold feet while speaking in public? Here’s what you need to do to become a great speaker.

Persuasion skills are essential for good leadership. These are one of the greatest components of public speaking and have the ability to influence, convince, negotiate, and sell. Who doesn’t need them? I am sure all of us sometime or the other have gone through a situation where we had to say a few words in public but developed cold feet. On then looks for an excuse to escape such a situation.

Some of the greatest public speakers were the greatest disasters when they started. The good news is that we can all learn to be effective public speakers.

The best product or service, if not presented properly, is useless. There are many advantages to being a powerful speaker:~
(1)One of them is that you are perceived as a leader and an expert in your field.
(2)Second, you can leverage your position effectively.

Public Speaking comprises the following three Fs:
(1)Flair,
(2)Flow and
(3Facts.

(1)Flair: When you are on the platform, your presentation must have pizzazz. It ought not to be bland. You are not an entertainer or performer, but your presentation must have flair.

(2)Flow: There must be a structure to your presentation, otherwise people lose track.

(3)Facts: What you say on the platform, goes into public domain. No matter what you say, you must have your facts right to gain credibility.

The following are some steps to being an effective public speaker.

•Clarify expectation in advance:
Ask your hosts what is the ‘end result’ they are looking for upon completion of your presentation. Clarity on the end result would decide your contents.

•Do not make more than three points:
Why?
Less than three is too little, more than three is too much. Don’t question the power of three. Somehow three points stick. It is an odd number; odd numbers stick better than even numbers.

•Use simple language:
Keep your presentation at 6th grade level. Use simple words that can be easily understood. Don’t use jargons, slang or words that are difficult to understand.

The idea is to express and not to impress. The audience being impressed is a natural outcome of a good presentation.

•Be yourself:
Don’t pretend and put on a false mask. Just be honest and sincere. Being yourself does not mean that you become casual. Being casual displays indifference or arrogance. People hate both.

•Go well prepared:
Practice, Practice, Practice. There is no substitute to preparation. Audiences can tell if you have come prepared or not.

An unprepared speaker wastes their audience’s time. They invest their time to listen to you out of trust. When trust is broken, they feel cheated.

•Have a strong opener:
Why? How much time does it take to grab your audience’s attention? About 30 seconds. If you have not got their attention within 30 seconds, you have lost them. Most powerful speakers have very strong openers.

•Have a strong close:
Why are strong openers and closes crucial to a good presentation? Because they leave a lasting impression. Impressions stick in the mind whereas contents are lost. Impressions have a lasting effect.

•Always close with a ‘call to action’:
Every speech must close with a very strong and specific call to action. A call to action makes you a leader, otherwise you are only an information provider. If your speech does not end with a call to action, you are only a loud speaker, not a good public speaker.

These are only a few essentials of a good public speaker. Good public speaking needs a lot of practice.

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Monday, July 10, 2017

2172~DO BUDDHISTS BELIEVE IN GOD?

-- by Kusala Bhikshu
(An extract from the talk given at a high school in Los Angeles.)
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"To Buddha, the end of suffering is more important than God.

Then how everything in this world got started... "If you don’t have God in Buddhism then who or what caused the universe?"

When the Buddha was asked how the world started, he kept silent. In the religion of Buddhism we don’t have a first cause, instead we have a never ending circle of birth and death. In this world and in all worlds, there are many beginnings and ends. The model of life used in Buddhism has no starting place... It just keeps going and going.
So, God is not what Buddhism is about... Suffering is...But, Buddhist's don't believe God can end suffering. Only the teaching's of the Buddha can help us end suffering through wisdom and the activity of compassion."
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2171~ THE VEDANTA IN FOUR WORDS

THE VEDANTA IN FOUR WORDS!
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The great sage Ramana Maharishi once said that all of Vedanta could be compressed into just four words: "deham, naham, koham, soham"

Deham: The body
Naham: I am not
Koham: Who am I?
Soham: I am That

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2170 ~ Happy /childhood /doing the impossible /GIGO/useful/ life







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2169~Quotes- greatest treasures /life/success/try/ lies& truth






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2168~quotes on winning people /practise pause



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2167~ JUST IN JEST 😀

Wife : I have heard that a man gets deaf if he has Viagra often.

Husband : Who the hell is Jeff and what is he doing at Niagara? 😳
______________________
A person died after hearing the price of Tur daal.
Dr. issued death certificate that read... Cause of death "HIGH PULSE RATE"...!!!😊
_______________________________
Grandfather :
when I was of your age, I used to take two rupees to the market  and bring home soap, rice , milk, bread, ghee and face powder , etc.

Grandson :
nowadays it is difficult....
There are CCTV cameras  everywhere.
 😂😂😂😂😂

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2166 ~Government engineers 😀

😀 !!!JUST IN JEST!!! 😀
Two Government engineers, were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

'We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole', said one, 'But we don't have a ladder.'

The woman said, 'Hand me that wrench out of your toolbox.'

She loosened a few bolts, then laid the pole down.

She then took  measuring tape from their toolbox, took the  measurement and announced, 'Eighteen feet, six inches' and walked away.

The second engineer shook his head and laughed and said.

'We need the height and she gave us the length!'

Both the engineers  are still working for the Government.
😊😁😂😃😄😅

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Friday, July 07, 2017

2165~ TIPS FOR SUCCESS (3)





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2164~ TIPS FOR SUCCESS (2)






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2163~ TIPS FOR SUCCESS (1)






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2162~ EXCEEDING EXCELLENCE

WHAT IS MEANT BY `EXCEEDING EXCELLENCE' ?
~Swami Swaroopananda
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EXCELLENCE DEFINED :
Excellence has been defined as “the quality of being outstanding or extremely good“. When we put forth efforts and attempt to do the best ­ at all times ­ we attain excellence.
It is not about being the best because somebody will always be better than us at some time or the other.

When a singer's performance is extolled or an artist's painting is admired, it is due to something ethereal and grand in that incredible action or achievement. On the one hand, it gives an immeasurable sense of fulfilment to the artiste, and on the other, the beholder is awestruck and captivated by the brilliance.

HOW TO GAIN EXCELLENCE:
To gain excellence, first, we must have
(1)the essential talent,
(2)we need to work sincerely ,
(3)practice diligently and
(4)have the right attitude.

EXCELLENCE IN ALL ASPECTS OF LIFE:
Arjuna achieved excellence in the field of warfare and archery . But when it came to dealing with his own emotions, he collapsed on the battlefield. If excellence is not developed in all aspects of our life, somewhere or the other we will falter. To such an Arjuna, Krishna gave knowledge- ­
not the knowledge of becoming excellent,
but exceeding it in all aspects of life.

THE ATTITUDE THAT GENERATES EXCELLENCE:
At the individual level, when we combine all internal resources and pour them together; when the body , mind and intellect are integrated; a certain amount of efficiency arises. Whenever we put love into an action, that skilfully executed work becomes beautiful. It may not necessarily be perfect, but there is a magical quality present. When we bring people together and each one does his best; each one strives to contribute to a common goal from which everyone derives success and benefit, it is acting in a spirit of yajna. It is this attitude that generates excellence.

BUT HOW DO WE EXCEED EXCELLENCE?
When we perform actions out of love, dedication, and gratitude, the ego dissolves; we obtain Divine blessings and grace.
Grace is strange and unfathomable. It makes you go beyond your present talent, skill and capacity towards excellence ... some mysterious synergy occurs.
Gratitude indicates giving back or what has been received, not out of feelings of debt, but out of thankfulness, as an offering to the universe. It is being able to see divinity everywhere, at all times, in everything.

HOW VEDA VYASA EXCEEDED EXCELLENCE?
The Vedas are an excellent means of knowledge about the Supreme Truth. Is it possible to improve upon them? Veda Vyasa exceeded excellence. How? He did not rewrite the mantras of the Vedas, but gathered the scattered knowledge, and compiled it into four volumes. He formulated the profound wisdom in such a way that it could be passed on to a yuga where people would neither have the mental capacity to understand nor remember.  Thereby , he exceeded excellence.

WHO COULD ENHANCE SAGE VALMIKI'S SANSKRIT RAMAYANA?
Could anybody enhance Sage Valmiki's Sanskrit Ramayana? But Goswami Tulsidas did it by bringing this exceptional epic, in the language of the common man, immersing it in rhythm, poetry , knowledge and depth.

THE EMBODIMENT OF EXCELLENCE :
Rama was an embodiment of excellence in all respects. In every field, in every role, in every relationship including as husband, whether you may agree or not, he was the best.

GRACE OF THE EXCELLENT :
But, how did Hanuman, a mere vaanar (monkey), exceed excellence to such an extent that he was praised by the Lord?
It is when we serve with humility , the one who is excellent, then, by the sheer grace of the excellent, we exceed excellence.

(The writer is global head, Chinmaya Mission.)
(Jun 17 2017 : The Times of India (Chennai), The speaking tree )

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2161~ LIFE IS ABOUT BALANCE


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2160~JUST IN JEST

😀 !!!JUST IN JEST!!! 😀
Towards the end of the Jashan for Parsi New Year, the Priest asked:~
"How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"‎

80% held up their hands.

The Priest then repeated his question.

All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

"Mrs. Batliwala ? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," she replied, smiling sweetly.

"Mrs. Batliwala that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," she replied.

"Oh, would you please come over in front and tell us all how a person of ninety-eight years of age not have an enemy in the world?"

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation & said:~
‎" None of them is alive. I have outlived all the bastards & bitches." ‎😀😀😀

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2159~ THE GOLDEN RULE


The "Golden Rule"
(a.k.a. Ethics of Reciprocity)
Passages from various religious texts:
Bahá'í Faith to Zoroastrianism:
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Bahá'í Faith:
 "Ascribe not to any soul that which thou wouldst not have ascribed to thee, and say not that which thou doest not." "Blessed is he who preferreth his brother before himself." Baha'u'llah
"And if thine eyes be turned towards justice, choose thou for thy neighbour that which thou choosest for thyself." Epistle to the Son of the Wolf.
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Buddhism:
"...a state that is not pleasing or delightful to me, how could I inflict that upon another?" Samyutta NIkaya v. 353
"Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful." Udana-Varga 5:18
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Christianity:
"Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets." Matthew 7:12, King James Version.
"And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise." Luke 6:31, King James Version.
"...and don't do what you hate...", Gospel of Thomas 6. The Gospel of Thomas is one of about 40 gospels that circulated among the early Christian movement, but which never made it into the Christian Scriptures (New Testament).
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Confucianism:
 "Do not do to others what you do not want them to do to you" Analects 15:23
 "Tse-kung asked, 'Is there one word that can serve as a principle of conduct for life?' Confucius replied, 'It is the word 'shu' -- reciprocity. Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire.'" Doctrine of the Mean 13.3
"Try your best to treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself, and you will find that this is the shortest way to benevolence." Mencius VII.A
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Ancient Egyptian:
"Do for one who may do for you, that you may cause him thus to do." The Tale of the Eloquent Peasant, 109 - 110 Translated by R.B. Parkinson. The original dates to circa 1800 BCE and may be the earliest version of the Epic of Reciprocity ever written.
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Hinduism:
This is the sum of dharma (duty): "Do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you." Mahabharata 5:1517
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Islam:
"None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself." Number 13 of Imam "Al-Nawawi's Forty Hadiths."
 ---------------
Jainism:
"Therefore, neither does he [a sage] cause violence to others nor does he make others do so." Acarangasutra 5.101.
"In happiness and suffering, in joy and grief, we should regard all creatures as we regard our own self." Lord Mahavira, 24th Tirthankara
"A man should wander about treating all creatures as he himself would be treated. "Sutrakritanga 1.11.33
 ---------------
Judaism:
"...thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.", Leviticus 19:18
"What is hateful to you, do not to your fellow man. This is the law: all the rest is commentary." Talmud, Shabbat 31a.
"And what you hate, do not do to any one." Tobit 4:15
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Taoism:
"“Regard your neighbour's gain as your gain, and your neighbour's loss as your own loss.” Tai Shang Kan Yin P’ien
"To those who are good to me, I am good; to those who are not good to me, I am also good. Thus all get to be good."
-------------
Zoroastrianism:
"That nature alone is good which refrains from doing to another  whatsoever is not good for itself." Dadisten-I-dinik, 94,5
"Whatever is disagreeable to yourself do not do unto others." Shayast-na-Shayast 13:29
----------------------------------------------
(http://www.religioustolerance.org/reciproc2.htm)

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Thursday, July 06, 2017

2158~ Just in jest -Free Sex

A petrol station owner in Ludhiana was trying to increase his sales.

So, he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with every Top-Up.'

Soon Banta  pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex.

The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex.

Banta guessed 8, and the proprietor said, 'You were close. The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time.'

A week later, Banta, along with his friend, Santa, pulled in for another fill-up. Again he asked for his free sex.

The proprietor again gave him the same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. Banta  guessed 2 this time. The proprietor said, 'Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but no free sex this time.'

As they were driving away, Santa said to  Banta , 'I think that game is rigged and he doesn't really give away free sex.'

Banta replied,
'No it is genuine. It's not rigged at all. My wife won twice last week !!!'😁

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Friday, June 16, 2017

2157~ A LITTLE PHILOSOPHY

"Philosophy is the No man's land between science and theology, exposed to attack from both the sides."
~Bertie Russell
____________
"The basic laws of the universe are simple, but because our senses are limited, we can’t grasp them. There is a pattern in creation…"
~Albert Einstein
___________
The karma garland!
"God gives you a garland made of all good and bad that you have done in previous lives. You have been born with that garland round your neck."
- Bhagavan Sri Satya Sai Baba
____________
Animals may have the transmigrated souls of human ancestors. Therefore,  eating animal products is cannibalism.
~Pythagoras
_____________
Ego (Aham) is like a shadow. The shadow is not real, yet it won't leave us so easily!
- Jaggi Vasudev
_____________

COMMENTS :
Nakkeeran's comment :
"Animals may have the transmigrated souls of human ancestors. Therefore, eating animal products is cannibalism."~Pythagoras  

With reference to this view I recollect a saying by Pattinaththadigal in one of his songs as under, loosely translated to English.  " In my previous births, I could have been a parent to many a soul, so also I could have been a son or daughter to many others, I could have eaten the body of many of the souls and also could have been eaten by many other souls." That way I find a lot of convergence of thought between our Seers and western thinkers.

CNR's comment :
We believe in transmigration and we take a series of births before we are born as human beings, and we may be any living (any animal form) and nonliving form in between because we believe that the permanent soul wears dfferent bodies like our changing of clothes till all the karma wears off!
-----------------
Nakkeeran's comment :
"Ego (Aham) is like a shadow. The shadow is not real, yet it won't leave us so easily!"~Jaggi Vasudev    

To avoid the shadow, the solution is to become self illumined, which is easier said than being achieved.

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2156~ Success


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2155~ దేహమును ప్రేమించుమన్న


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2154~ ENGLISH ENGLISH

701/2017
*ENGLISH! ENGLISH!!*

When we write about emotions, many times we feel that another word would have given a better expression. English teacher Kaitlin Robbs has created a vocabulary wheel which is very useful in finding the right word when writing 'emotional matter'. The wheel is posted below...  Zoom it and see ... Quite interesting !!

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Wednesday, June 14, 2017

2153~ Quotes




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2152~ An ode to old age!



I am at a loss to comprehend,
why I linger, all faculties lost,
For survival is only of the fittest!
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2151~ Just in jest


😀 !!!Just in JEST!!! 😀
😀A punter was at the races playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt.

He noticed a Catholic Priest step out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a long shot - won the race.

Next race, as the horses lined up, the Priest stepped onto the track. Sure enough, he blessed one of the horses. The bookie made a beeline for a betting window and placed a small bet on the horse. Again, even though it was another long shot, the horse won the race.

He collected his winnings, and anxiously waited to see which horse the Priest would bless next.
He bet big on it, and it won.

As the races continued the Priest kept blessing horses, and each one ended up winning.
The bookie was elated.

He made a quick dash to the ATM, withdrew all his savings, and awaited for the Priest's blessing that would tell him which horse to bet on.

True to his pattern, the Priest stepped onto the track for the last race and blessed the forehead of an old nag that was 100/1. This time the priest blessed the eyes, ears, and hooves of the old nag.

The bookie knew he had a winner and bet every cent he owned on the old nag.He watched dumbfounded as the old nag pulled up and couldn't even finish the race.

In a state of shock, he went to the track area where the Priest was. Confronting him, he demanded, 'Father! What happened? All day long you blessed horses and they all won. Then in the last race, the horse you blessed never even had a chance. Now, thanks to you I've lost every cent of my savings'.

The Priest nodded wisely and with sympathy. "You are not Catholic are you my son?”
"No, I'm Jewish".
"That's the problem", said the Priest, "you couldn't tell the difference between a BLESSING and LAST RIGHTS ".

(Via Sushanta Sen)

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2150~ Ladies special

This one's a Ladies special...
Written by a lady... 😁😁😂
_____________________________
"After a meeting I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room, it wasn't there too.

Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.
My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.

My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
His theory is the car will be stolen.

Immediately I rushed to the parking lot, I came to a terrifying conclusion.
His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.

I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, Description of the car, Place I parked etc, I equally confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that the car had been stolen.

Then I made the most difficult call of all, to my husband, "Honey", I stammered; (I always call him "honey" in times like these.) "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."

There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice.
"Idiot", he shouted, "I dropped you at the hotel !"

Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, then pls come and get me."

He shouted again, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."..."
😂😓😂😓😂😓😂😓

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2149~ misunderstanding in a Chinese Call center

___________________________    
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?

Operator: Yes you can speak to me..

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan !

Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone. You can
speak to me. Who is this ?

Caller: I am Sam Wan, and I need to talk to Annie Wan. It's urgent !

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to speak to anyone.
But what's the urgent matter about ?

Caller: Well.. just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident.
Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to hospital. Right
now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter ! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this !

Caller: You are so rude ! Who are you ?

Operator: I'm Saw Ree.

Caller: Yes ! You should be sorry. Now give me your name.

Operator: Oh...God..!
_____________________

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Tuesday, June 13, 2017

2148 😀!!! JUST IN JEST !!! 😀 _ Banta in the KBC

Amitabh : Aapka last question 5 crore ka.. yeh raha apke samne..

Contestant  Banta is tensed.

Amitabh : Who is the father of Abhishek Bachan?

Computer Screen:
A. Amitabh Bachan
B. Dharmendra
C. Amjad Khan
D. Sanjeev Kumar

Amitabh : Apka kya jawab hai ?
(He is quite sure that Banta will opt for A)
But Banta is still confused.

Banta : I think it is A ..

"Are you sure?", says Amitabh in style..

Banta gets more confused and nervous.

Banta : I would like to use 50:50?

Amitabh: Ok, computer ji , do galat javab ko mita deejiye...

Computer after deleting two names, leaves two options which are: -

B. Dharmendra
C. Amjad Khan

Amitabh is confused.. and tensed.. thinks how come the computer has made this mistake. But as is said in bollywood, the show must go on.
Now Banta is even more confused..

Banta: I would like to use the last life line.. phone a friend..

Amitabh : Ap kisko phone karna chahenge?..

Banta: Mein Jaya Bachan ji ko phone karna chahoonga..

Amitabh Bachchan is shocked !!!
But the call gets connected to Jaya Bachchan...

Banta: "Jayaji, Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan!?"

.
.
.
.
.

Jaya Bachchan asks, "What are the options?"

Amitabh faints...
😊😀😁😂

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2147~ పాటే వెన్నెల... పదమే ఊయల...

అమ్మ పాడే లాలి పాటలు.. అమ్మా అని బిడ్డ నోరారా పాడే పాటలు... అల్లరి వయసు విరహ గీతాలు.. ప్రేమికుల సరసాల సయ్యాటలు.. వ్యక్తిత్వానికి వన్నెలుదిద్దే నీతిపాఠాలు.. జీవిత సూత్రాల చద్దిమూటలు.. ఇలా తెలుగు సినీ సాహితీవనంలో సినారె వెదజల్లిన సౌరభాలెన్నో. ఆయన లేకపోయినా ఆయన జ్ఞాపకాల్లా ఆ పాటలు శాశ్వతంగా నిలిచిపోతాయి.

‘అమ్మా అని నోరార పిలవరా.. ఆ పిలుపే అందరు నోచని వరమురా..’ అంటూ ‘మనుషులు మట్టిబొమ్మలు’లో బిడ్డల కోసం పరితపించే ప్రతి కన్నతల్లి ఆర్తిని అక్షరాల్లో ఆవిష్కరించారు. ‘కంటేనే అమ్మ అని అంటే ఎలా.. కరుణించే ప్రతి దేవత అమ్మే కదా..’ అంటూ అమ్మ అనే మాటకు సరికొత్త భాష్యం చెప్పారు ‘ప్రేమించు’ చిత్రంతో. తల్లి, చెల్లి, అర్ధాంగి, కూతురు... ఇలా మగవాడి కోసం తన జీవితం మొత్తం ధారబోస్తోంది మగువ. ఆ సత్యాన్ని ‘మాతృదేవత’లో ‘మానవజాతి మనుగడకే ప్రాణం పోసింది మగువ..’తో చెప్పారు సినారె. ‘ముద్దుల మా బాబు నిద్దరోతున్నాడు.. సద్దుచేశారంటే ఉలికులికి పడతాడు..’ అంటూ చిన్ని కన్నయ్యలను అమ్మతో జోకొట్టించేశారు ‘జీవనజ్యోతి’లో.

అమ్మ గొప్పతనం గురించి చెప్పే క్రమంలో నాన్నను తక్కువ చేయలేదాయన. బిడ్డలను పూలతోటలో నడిపించేందుకు తాను ముళ్లబాటలో నడిచేందుకు సిద్ధమయ్యే తండ్రిని ‘ఓ నాన్నా నీ మనసే వెన్న.. అమృతం కన్న అది ఎంతో మిన్న..’ అని ‘ధర్మదాత’లో కీర్తించారు. ‘అనగనగా ఒక రాజు అనగనగా ఒకరాణి.. రాజు గుణము మిన్న.. రాణి మనసు వెన్న..’ అంటూ ‘ఆత్మబంధువు’తో పిల్లలకు విలువలు నేర్పించారు. ‘చదువురాని వాడివనీ దిగులు చెందకు.. మనిషి మదిలోన మమతలేని చదువులెందుకు..’ అంటూ నిజమైన చదువంటే ఏంటో బోధించారు.

ఇలాంటి కన్నప్రేమ గీతాలే కాదు.. కన్నె ప్రణయగీతాల్లోనూ తన చమక్కు చూపించారు సినారె.
‘వగలరాణివి నీవే.. సొగసుకాడను నేనే..’ అని ‘బందిపోటు’తో పాడించి రాకుమారిని మేడ దింపారు. ‘పూజాఫలం’లో ‘పగలే వెన్నెల జగమే వూయల..’ అంటూ వూహాలోకంలో పరవశింపజేశారు. ‘తెలిసిందిలే తెలిసిందిలే నెలరాజా నీ రూపు తెలిసిందిలే..’ అని ప్రేమ వూసుల ఆచూకీ చూపించారు ‘రాముడు భీముడు’లో. ‘ఛాంగురే బంగారు రాజా.. మజ్జారే మగరేడా.. మత్తైన వగకాడా..’ అంటూ ప్రియురాలి విరహ తాపాన్ని ‘శ్రీకృష్ణపాండవీయం’ లో కళ్లకుకట్టారు. ‘నువ్వలా ముందుంటే నిన్నలా చూస్తుంటే..’ అని ‘గూఢచారి 116’ పాడుకున్నా, ‘కోటలోని మొనగాడా వేటకు వచ్చావా..’ అంటూ ‘గోపాలుడు భూపాలుడు’లో పడుచు పిల్ల చిలిపిగా ఆరా తీసినా, ‘అమ్మమాట’లో ‘మాయదారి సిన్నోడు మనసే లాగేసిండు..’ అని కన్నెపిల్ల వాపోయినా, ‘ఎంతవారుగానీ వేదాంతులైనగానీ వాలుచూపు సోకగానే తేలిపోదురోయ్‌..’ అని ‘భలే తమ్ముడు సెలవిచ్చినా, ‘చిట్టిచెల్లెలు’లోని ‘ఈ రేయి తీయనిది.. ఈ చిరుగాలి మనసైనది..’ అనే పాట ఇప్పటి ప్రేక్షకుల నోళ్లలోనూ నానుతున్నా.. అదంతా సినారె కలం మహత్యమే.

మెరిసే ముత్యాలు...: సినారె పాటల్లో ఎన్నో ఆణిముత్యాల్లాంటి సూక్తులు, జీవిత సత్యాలూ ఉన్నాయి. ‘గాలికి కులమేదీ.. నేలకు కులమేదీ..’ అనే పాటతో మనుషులకెందుకు కులభేదమని ప్రశ్నిస్తారు ‘కర్ణ’ చిత్రంలో. ‘ఎవరికీ తలవంచకు.. ఎవరినీ యాచించకు..’ అని ఆత్మవిశ్వాసం నూరిపోస్తారు ‘నిండు సంసారం’లో.
‘మంచి మిత్రులు’లోని ‘ఎన్నాళ్లొ వేచిన ఉదయం..’ పాటలో మంచిని పెంచిన మనిషిని ఏ వంచన ఏమీ చేయదని ధైర్యమిస్తాడు.
‘ఇదేనా మన సంప్రదాయమిదేనా..’ అంటూ ‘వరకట్నం’ దురాచారంపై ఎలుగెత్తి నిరసిస్తాడు.
‘నీ ధర్మం నీ సంఘం నీ దేశం నువు మరవొద్దు..’ అని ‘కోడలు దిద్దిన కాపురం’లో గుర్తుచేశాడు.
‘రైతు కటుంబం’లో ‘ఈ మట్టిలోనే పుట్టాము.. ఈ మట్టిలోనే పెరిగాము..’ అంటూ మట్టితో రైతు అనుబంధాన్ని ఆవిష్కరించారు.

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Monday, June 12, 2017

2146~ unrelenting focus for success

Unrelenting focus is the only mantra for SUCCESS :
-------------------------
[Vinita Dawra Nangia,o-zone
Jun 11 2017 : The Times of India (Chennai)]
---------------------------
You can get anything done.
The only requirement is sharp, intense focus, discipline and endurance.

Success is a demanding, high-maintenance mistress needing absolute dedication and single-minded pursuit. She does not tolerate rivals, not even inconsequential ones.
If you wish to achieve something, then stop wishing and dreaming ­ just get going. Develop a sharp, unrelenting focus. Manoeuvre yourself into a space where all else blurs away. Put the rest of your life on the backburner. Discipline and consistency is all.

That is what the world's most successful people do! Those who gain iconic status have pursued their goal relentlessly to the exclusion of all else. And once at the top, they have stuck to their laurels. Nothing matters except the determination to stay where they have reached.

Life becomes one long schedule of training, practice, mental coaching and nurturing of that hardtaskmaster: Success.

Football icon Cristiano Ronaldo says, “We have money, we have cars, we have everything. But you don't know we suffer to achieve this... I've become the person I am today because of the time I spent without my family and going through difficult times.“ This is true of all achievers.
The most decorated Olympian of all time, swimmer Michael Phelps said in an interview, “Eat, sleep and swim. That's all I can do. Get some calories into my system and try to recover the best I can.“
A group of long-distance runners training in Patiala for World Championships are kept away from smartphones all week.Coach Surendra Singh argues, “Small distractions have consequences... after a tough training, athletes should focus on recovering and not texting.“

Indeed, there can be no normal life for those who court the limelight. No spontaneous holiday plans, no standing and staring, nor any sudden bingeing trips. Discipline is all. Everything has to be planned around gruelling work routines. If you are chasing success, the mantra is ­ Sharp focus, discipline and rigorous practice.

Yes, even for those who are not into sporty activities. Film stars, models, sports icons, and even writers at the top of their ilk ­ every discipline demands focused dedication.

 Whatever the field, physical and mental fitness are as much a key to success as talent and hard work. To develop this package, focus and discipline are mandatory.

World-renowned Japanese author Haruki Murakami lists his daily regimen ­ he gets up at 4 am and writes for five to six hours. Then he runs for 10 kms or swims for 1500 m, after which he reads and listens to music.
By 9pm he sleeps. “The repetition itself be comes the i m p o r tant thing; it's a form of mesmerism. I mesmerise myself to reach a deeper state of mind. But to hold to such repetition for so long... requires a good amount of mental and physical strength.“

 Those unwilling to give up normal lives are scared of success because she demands sacrifice ­ from her followers as well as their families.

You can either be a success, or lead a normal life! But then there are obvious rewards too.

Japanese Sumo wrestlers have a punishing regimen and their life expectancy is at least 10 years shorter than the average Japanese male. And yet, they are proud to be Sumo wrestlers.

Once you are sure of your goal, consider everything else a distraction. Work first thing every morning and don't connect with anything or anyone till your day's work is done. Develop discipline and get obsessive about routines. Nurture patience and endurance.

The only way to reach your goal is ­ focus, focus and more intense focus! You have to develop a tunnel vision, one where your goal is all ­ your only God, as well as your only form of worship

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2145~Anando Brahma (Don't add, delete)



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