BUZZWORD SYNTHESISER:

Here is a lovely BUZZWORD SYNTHESISER to help somewhat reticent people to preen their feathers. Any individual of an average intelligence can easily weave the buzzword phraseology into his/her presentations with consummate ease.

The rule to be followed: “when choosing between a simple term and a more confusing term, always pick up the high level abstract one.” Even the most acute listener won’t get the right angle and will be rendered obtuse.

The BUZZWORD SYNTHESISER is remarkably easy to use. It consists of 3 columns- A, B and C. Each column contains 10 words, 1 to 10. In case you are confronted by an unexpected question, choose any one word from each column and articulate them in an appropriate sentence.
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[A]

1)INTEGRATED
2)TOTAL
3)SYSTEMATISED
4)PARALLEL
5)FUNCTIONAL
6)RESPONSIVE
7)OPTIONAL
8)SYNCHRONISED
9)COMPATIBLE
10)BALANCED
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[B]

1)MANAGEMENT
2)ORGANISATIONAL
3)MONITORED
4)RECIPROCAL
5)DIGTAL
6)LOGISTICAL
7)TRANSITIONAL
8)INCREMENTAL
9)THIRD-GENERATION
10)POLICY

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[C]

1)OPTIONS
2)FLEXIBILITY
3)CAPABILITY
4)MOBILITY
5)PROGRAMMING
6)CONCEPT
7)TIMEPHASE
8)PROJECTION
9)HARDWARE
10)CONTINGENCY

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SHROFF reacting to an uncomfortable query on unaccounted moolah can use the combination 7-4-10: It is an optional reciprocal contingency.

A POLIICIAN, describing his party’s democratic principles can choose 1-2-2: We will implement integrated organisational flexibility to enable divergent opinions to be aired within the party.

TENDULKAR, struggling to preserve his batting slot can suggest 5-7-3: I am being experimented within the functional transitional capability.

A SALES MANAGER projecting his next year’s plans to the boss will say 6-6-4: With our responsive logistical mobility, extra sale will result without additional inputs.

A BOSS, motivating reluctant employees for redeployment can choose 9-1-2: Our compatible management flexibility will offer ideal slots to all of you. Round pegs for round holes.

A TEENAGER, humouring her irate parent’s views on indecent exposure can plump for 2-9-7: You are out of sync with total third-generation time-phase.

The possibilities are endless…. Be sure to type out the BUZZWORD SYNTHESISER on a small piece of paper and laminate it for easy storage and access- you can keep it in your shirt pocket.

Don’t worry if the print is too small for accurate choice- any three buzzwords will do! Enjoy!

[Synthesised by M.Srinath Narayan]____________________________________________________________