DIFFICULTIES / PROBLEMS/ PROBLEM SOLVING:

The pathways of life are strewed with problems. There is not a living soul on earth, who can tell us that he has never faced problems some time or other in life. Only dead people in graveyards have no problems. A beneficent providence deliberately throws problems in our way. There is a purpose in it. Within every one of us there are infinite sources of eternal energy. One way of unfolding these powers is to handle problems, to face problems, to try to solve problems in the right spirit.

“The law of difficulties/ obstructions/ failures

Difficulties come not to obstruct, but to instruct. Within every setback or obstacle lie seeds of an equal or greater benefit or opportunity. Your failure is a step forward to success. So “fail forward”. Turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones to success. “

What is a problem?

A problem is a situation in which a person desires/wants something but does not get it and makes one feel helpless is angry.

I seek, I want, I need, I wish, all these can be clubbed under one heading- Desire.

There is no way to avoid problems:

One cannot escape the clutches of desire so long as we have a body, because the body is the seat of desires and unfulfilled problems lead to problems.

Ø INTRINSIC WORTH

An eminent speaker was addressing a 200 strong gathering. He held up a $20 bill and asked, “Who would like to have this?” Every one raised their hands. The speaker crumpled the dollar bill in his hand. He then asked, “Who would like to have this?” Once again every one raised their hands.

The speaker then threw the crumpled dollar bill on the floor and ground it under his shoe.

“Now who wants this?” he asked. The hands still went up. “MY friends,” said the speaker, “You hare all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value.

It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives we hit the ground because of the decisions we make, or we are trampled upon by people and circumstances and we feel that we are worthless.

But no matter what happens, you will never lose your value.

You are special. Don’t forget it!”

Why do we face problems in life?

There is no escape from problems in life. Therefore, there has to be a reason for us to take up the corporeal form, the body in this life with its embedded desire, the non-fulfillment of which leads to problems. Otherwise, why do we have to go through so much suffering, pain and mental agony, experienced whenever our desires remain unfulfilled?

Everything living or non living, from the minutest of virus to the massive elephant, from the microscopic dust particle to the largest of mountains, all exist and all have a reason and proper place for being where they are. So then, what is the logic behind humans facing problems in life?

Yes, there is logic behind humans facing problems in life, there is a specific reason for problems to occur in out lives and yes, they do occupy a proper place in the scheme of life. It could be best explained with an analogy:

Ø Imagine that you are sitting late at night in your room, comfortably tucked in bed, reading a book written by your favourite author. Just as you come to the part where the killer raises his knife to plunge into the unsuspecting hero’s back-

“Phutt”

The room is plunged into darkness as the only lamp bulb suspended over your head is fused.

You are facing a small problem, you wish to read on but you can not. The solution lies in replacing the bulb

Alright, you have a fresh bulb, all you have to do is to charge the fused one. Since the overhead lamp is out of reach, you pull a chair, climb onto it and replace the bulb, press the switch and presto. You have light. Now you can pick up from where you left off reading. The problem is solved.

Take a closer look, for there in this simple problem there lies the logic and the reason that we are in search of.

Why do you take the help of the chair to replace the bulb?

Because, with your height and distance from ground level, you were unable to reach the overhead lamp. Your lack of height and reach were a temporary limitation, which came in the way of solving your problem of replacing the bulb, so you pulled a chair, climbed onto it and in doing so, you raised your level from the floor to a higher level of the chair thus enabling you to change the bulb and solve the problem.

But is this not the way we solve problems in life?

Most of the times, whatever we want or desire exists just out of your reach (like the fused bulb in the example), out of the reach of our current level of functioning. If our desire is strong enough, it propels us to stretch and reach beyond our limitations thereby expanding our personal resources till we raise our current level of functioning to the level of functioning whereby what we want is within our grasp.

Ø A student appearing for an exam has to raise his intellectual level by absorbing the knowledge prescribed for passing the exam; also he has to raise his physical level by putting in the necessary number of hours of effort to do so. After the successful completion of the exam, he has consciously and unconsciously evolved to a higher level of functioning.

If you look into your own past, you will remember that every time you overcame a problem, you did so by raising your level of functioning, by raising the level of your personal resources. As you progress through life solving the various problems that come your way, you evolve gradually into a more superior being- which is the purpose of our lives. That is why we face problems in life.

Thus-

Problems are permanent fixtures of life, so

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Look for Solutions.

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Implement the solutions (by expanding your personal resources), which results

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In Rising your level of functioning, and

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Evolving into a Superior being.

Ø CARROTS, EGGS AND COFFEE BEANS

A daughter went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last, ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. The daughter did and noted that they were soft.

She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked. "What's the point, mother?" Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water - but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level? How do you handle Adversity? ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?

Don't tell GOD how big your storm is. Tell the storm how big your GOD is!

De-confuse the problem:

Problems are like bombs, capable of great destruction. The difference is that a bomb must be de-fused whereas a problem must be de-confused. When a problem is de-confused, the confusing part of the problem is removed. As soon as the confusion is eliminated, the remaining parts of the problem can be removed to eliminate the entire problem.

ØPut the glass down

A lecturer was giving a lecture to his student on stress management. He raised a glass of water and asked the audience, "How heavy do you think this glass of water is?"

The students' answers ranged from 20g to 500gm.

"It does not matter on the absolute weight. It depends on how long you hold it.

If I hold it for a minute, it is OK.

If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm.

If I hold it for a day, you will have to call an ambulance.

It is the exact same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

"If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, we will not be able to carry on, the burden becoming increasingly heavier."

"What you have to do is to put the glass down, rest for a while before holding it up again."

We have to put down the burden periodically, so that we can be refreshed and are able to carry on.

So before you return home from work tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it back home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

Whatever burdens you are having now on your shoulders, let it down for a moment if you can.

Pick it up again later when you have rested...

Rest and relax.

Life is short, enjoy it!!

Reducing problems in life:

“Economics is the science which studies human behaviour as a relationship between ends and scarce means which have alternative uses. Economic problems arise because scarce means have alternative uses. Choice will have to be made between the alternative uses, but it is by no means an easy task. Therefore, the ‘choice making’ or ‘Decision making’ is the means of tackling economic problems.”

“Man's many desires are like the small metal coins he carries around in his pocket. The more he has, the more they weigh him down.”

Desires are infinite, but energy, time and other personal resources are limited.

The best way to reduce problems in life is to choose a goal in life. A goal is a desire which a person chooses and decides to place it uppermost in his mind at the cost of other desires, which seem frivolous, compared to his prime desire- the goal.

Ø A person with a goal then, is like a person in a car traveling in the middle of the night with headlights on. The driver can only see the path illuminated by the headlights and ignores all that lies in darkness. His complete attention and energy is focused in tackling the twists and turns along this path. So also, a person with a goal is focused in overcoming the specific problems that are encountered along the path to his goal. He conserves his energy by not succumbing to the tug and pull of desires which are not ancillary to his progress towards his goal.

Hence problems may be reduced by keeping oneself focused on a goal in life.

Reducing problems further

Problems can be divided into –

Real problems and

Inconveniences

Inconveniences are minor problems where you feel discomfort for a temporary period. It provokes a burst of irritation such as when a person rushing to office finds that one of the wheels of his car is punctured. This is an inconvenience because it has delayed him by some minutes. But the important thing is that it must be seen as inconvenience and not a problem.

Learn to separate the ‘real problems’ from the ‘inconveniences’ by posing yourself the question how the problem is gong to affect your life.

-are you going to die?

-will it drive you to a situation where you have to beg for your food?

-Is this going to send you to jail?

-whether you are going to lose someone you love or whose friendship you cherish?

-are you going to lose something which you shall surely miss for the rest of your life?

If none of the above are ticked off, then the problem facing you shrivels like a deflated balloon and is reduced to an ‘inconvenience’.

Think Big:

We humans have a fantastic capacity to dream. From such dreams have sprung reality, brought about by men who had the courage/ ability to acquire the knowledge and the skills/ expertise to translate their dreams into reality with single minded dedication.

In today’s rat race, everybody wants play safe, very few seem to possess the courage to pursue dreams. These few believe in themselves, the bigger the dream the greater the challenge and tougher the path towards achieving it. They will face tremendous hardships; nevertheless they go a head and face them, solve all the problems that come their way along the path to achieving their dream. They will evolve more and at a faster rate, which is the meaning of life.

Abraham Lincoln, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Rock Feller, Walt Disney etc were all such dreamers who achieved their dreams.

So aim high in life, do not be afraid to think big.

Ø Lessons from a Donkey!

One day a farmer's donkey fell in to a well. The animal cried piteously for hours, as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally he decided the animal was old and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it wasn't worth it to rescue the donkey.

He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed shovels and began to dump dirt into the well. At first the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well and was astonished at what he saw. With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmers’ neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, every one amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!

Life is going to shovel on you, all kinds of dirt.

The trick of getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone.

We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up!

Ø BE A LAKE!

Once a young apprentice, not so happy about the things around, goes to his master to express his bitterness that was developed by discomforts & unpleasant experiences. The master instructed the unhappy young man to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it.
"How does it taste?" the master asked.
"Bitter," spit the apprentice.

The master chuckled and then asked the young man to take the same handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake, and once the apprentice swirled his handful of salt in the water, the old man said, "Now drink from the lake."
As the water dripped down the young man's chin, the master asked," How does it taste?"

"Fresh," remarked the apprentice.

"Do you taste the salt?" asked the master.

"No," said the young man.

At this, the master advised the young man, "The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount of bitterness we taste depends on the container we put the pain in. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things..... "

STOP BEING A GLASS!"

"BECOME A LAKE!!"

GEMS:

ü God gave burdens, also shoulders.

ü It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.

ü The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

ü Remember, no human condition is ever permanent. Then you will not be overjoyed in good fortune nor too scornful in misfortune.

ü         What is the difference between school and life?

In school, you are taught a lesson and then given a test.

In life, you are given a test that teaches you a lesson.

ü Starve the problems, feed the opportunities.

ü Good timber does not grow with ease; the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees.

ü Most problems are really the absence of ideas.

ü No problem can stand the assault of sustained thinking.

ü Most problems well organized and defined are partially solved.

ü Do not find a fault, find a remedy.

ü Today’s neglected decisions become tomorrow’s crises.

ü The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas.

ü To solve your problems, bend your thinking and seeing.

ü 3 and 3 can make 6, 9, 0,1,27, 33 etc. Therefore think and use imagination.

ü Think. There is always a better way.

ü Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them.

ü The simplification of life is one of the steps to inner peace. In my life, what I want and what I need are exactly the same.

ü All problems become smaller if you don’t avoid them, but confront them. Touch a thistle timidly, and it pricks you; grasp it boldly, and its spine crumbles.

ü Greater the heat, greater the expansion.

ü People are a lot like tea bags; they don’t know their own strength until they get into hot water.

ü The best way out of a problem is through it.

ü Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

ü Problems are teachers not obstacles.

ü Smooth seas do not make skilful sailors.

ü The Chinese character for crisis consists of two characters. The top character means danger, and the bottom character means opportunity.

ü The only angle from which to approach a problem is the try-angle.

ü To solve a problem it is necessary to think. It is necessary to think even to decide what facts to collect.

ü You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

ü You will be remembered for two things: The problems you solve or the one you create.

ü Good timber does not grow with ease; the stronger the wind, the stronger the trees.

ü When the only tool you have is a hammer you tend to see every problem as a nail.

ü Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

ü If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

ü It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness.

ü Don't find fault, find a remedy.

ü I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning to sail my ship.

ü A problem clearly stated is a problem half solved.

ü The only difference between a problem and a solution is that people understand the solution.

ü There is always a way-if you're committed.

ü In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.

ü Never bring the problem solving stage into the decision making stage. Otherwise, you surrender yourself to the problem rather than the solution.

ü Good timber does not grow in ease,

The stronger wind, the stronger trees;

The farther sky, the greater strength.

By sun and cold, by rain and snow,

In tree and man good timber grows.

ü The key to problems is usually the ignition key.

ü By trials God is shaping us for higher things. We are always in the forge or on the anvil.

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