Just joking-Marriage

Here’s my order

Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends.

You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

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Wrong choice?

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”

The other replied, ‘Yes I am, I married the wrong man.”

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Real joy

Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.”

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When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.

But when a man who is married for ten years looks happy - we wonder why.

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Married life

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

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After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” And the husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice it.”

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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in most countries, son.

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Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

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True love

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place,

you either married it or gave birth to it!

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First kiss

At the end of their first date, a young man takes the girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to kiss her. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall, smiles and says to her, “Darling, how about a goodnight kiss?”

Horrified, she replies, “Are you mad? My parents will see us!”

“Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?”

“No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”

“Oh come on, there’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!"

“No, no. I just can’t.”

“Pleeeeease?...”

Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl’s sister shows up in her pajamas.

In a sleepy voice the sister says: “Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he’ll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!”

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The gift

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for my birthday. What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight.” he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.

Delighted, she opened it to find a book titled The Meaning of Dreams.

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The dinner

“Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.”

“What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking fancy meal!”

“I know all that.”

“Then why did you invite a friend for supper?”

“Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”

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(Source: The Internet)

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