CHOOSE YOUR AIRLINE CAREFULLY!

LUFTHANZA AIRLINES
Passengers on a Lufthanza flight heard this announcement from the captain :
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry to inform you that we have lost power to all of our engines and will shortly crash into the ocean".

The passengers were obviously very worried about this situation but were somewhat comforted by the captain's next announcement.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we at Lufthanza have prepared for such an emergency and we would now like you to rearrange your seating so that all the non-swimmers are on the left side of the plane and all the swimmers are on the right side of the plane.

After this announcement all the passengers rearranged their seating to comply with the captain's request.

Two minutes later the captain made a belly landing in the ocean. The captain once again made an announcement:
"Ladies and Gentlemen we have crashed into the ocean. All of the swimmers on the right side of the plane, open your emergency exits and quickly swim away from the
plane.
For all of the non-swimmers on the left side of plane, you are being carefully ferried out on belly, to the shore. Be comfortable in your seats, in the shell of the
plane. Thank You For Flying Lufthanza."
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DELKA AIRLINES.
At the airport for a trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delka Flight 570 will board from Gate 41."

So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate 41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate 35. So again we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate.

Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke "Thank You for participating in Delka's physical fitness program."
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BHARAT AIRLINES
"This is Captain Bharat speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard Bharat Airways flight 420 from New York to Mumbai.

We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic."

"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.

"If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off."

"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you. That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses.
This is a recorded message."
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