LIFE’S PHILOSOPHY from SMS received……….

1. Messages are not for time pass. They silently say that I’m thinking of you right now and also making you to think of me at least for a moment.

2. Life is short, live it. Love is short, feel it. Anger is injurious, dump it! Troubles are momentary, Face it! Memories are sweet, remember it…!

3. Aspire to acquire the desire that u admire. But if in the process u perspire, don’t retire but refire to acquire that desire that u admire…

4. Life gives answers in three ways. It says yes and gives u what u want. I t says no and gives u something better. It says wait and gives you the best…!
5. Life is different than a teacher. A teacher teaches a lesson and then conducts the exam. But life conducts the exam first , then teaches the lesson.

6. If 1=5
2=25
3=125
4=625, then
5=?
Answer is 1. (Remember the FIRST line? 1=5)
Moral: Don’t complicate simple problems in life.

7. Heated gold becomes ornament, beated copper becomes wire, depleted stone becomes statue, so the more pain u get in life the more u become ‘VALUABLE’.

8. Difficulties in your life do not come to destroy u…but to help u realise your hidden potential. Let difficulties know that u are DIFFICULT…….

9. A bend in the road is not the end of the road, so just cross all the hurdles with your skill called confidence.

10. When nothing seems to help I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at a rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it…. Yet at the hundred and first blow it splits in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it but all that had gone before never never never give up!

11. In life when you get troubles, don’t get nervous…Just close your eyes and follow your HEART... Because heart may be in left… but it is always RIGHT…

12. Life has its ups and downs. Sometimes the Sun shines, sometimes rain pours. But don’t forget, it takes both The sun and rain to make a RAINBOW! Enjoy life!

13. Never mind what others do, do better than urself, beat ur own records from day to day and pray to God for a better tomorrow.

14. Life is a paradox-what you want, you don’t get (LOVE). What you get, you don’t enjoy (MARRIAGE).what you enjoy is not permanent (GIRL FRIEND).what is permanent is boring (WIFE).

15. When you are in light, everything will follow you, but when you enter dark even your shadow fails to follow you. This is life.

16. Yesterday is for memories. Tomorrow is imaging. But today is God’s gift. Make it a pleasant day.

17. No one is born happy, but every one is born with the ability to create happiness. So today make every one happy by flashing your sweetest smile.

18. Don’t run ahead of God. Let him direct your steps. He has plans and he has time. God’s clock is never early nor late. It always strikes on time.

19. Tips to be happy in life:
1. Never be late.
2. Don’t cheat.
3. Live simple.
4. Expect little.
5. Work more.
6. Always smile.
7. Help others.

20. Always ask GOD to give you what you deserve, not what you desire…..It is because your desires may be few, but you deserve a lot.

21. GODISNOWHERE. What did you read? God is no where or God is now here. Just a beautiful way to say……Life is how you see it!

22. Trust in God Won’t make the mountain smaller, it will make climbing easier.

23. When God takes away something from your hand, don’t think he is punishing you. He is merely emptying your hands for you to receive something new.

24. Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you, not because they are not nice, but because you are nice…

25. What make some people dearer is not just the happiness that you feel when you meet them, but the pain you feel when you miss them.

26. Most of the things we desire are EXPENSIVE… but the truth is: The things that really make us HAPPY are FREE: Love, Joy, laughter, friends & SMS.

27. Don’t only be close with some one, who makes you happy. Be close with some one, who can not be happy without you.

28. Small things in life hurt a lot.Eg. You can sit in a mountain, but not on a pin!

29. Goodhart’s law (the economic cousin of Murphy’s Law): When a relationship between two variables becomes predictable, it breaks down.

30. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind it does not matter.

31. To stay young, healthy and happy, have an ORGASM everyday!
O- Organic cereal
R- Ripe fruits
G- Grilled vegetables
A- All wheat bread
S- Salt free food and
M- Milk
Enjoy your ORGASM!

32. New AIDS awareness caption: “Try different positions with the same woman, instead of the same position with different women.”

33. Conclusions of a childbirth researcher: A pole and hole make a soul.

34. Why is sex just like shaving? Well, because no matter how well you do it today, you will have to do it again tomorrow! Enjoy!

35. Fundamentals of long life: Morning- two eggs. Evening- two pegs. Night- two legs.

36. Sexual thought for the day: It is not the length, it is not the size, its not how many times you can make it rise, it is not how well it fits, but how late it spits!

37. World Health Organisation says-“All medicines have SIDE effects. Only Viagra has the FRONT effect.”

38. Virginity is not dignity or security, or purity but lack of opportunity.

39. Self analysis of a man: My strength is my wife; my weakness is my neighbours wife; my opportunity-when my neighbour’s husband is on tour; my fear (threat)- when I am on tour.

40. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

41. Man’s life: - before marriage SPIDERMAN, after finding a girl SUPERMAN, after engagement GENTLEMAN, after marriage WATCHMAN, 10 years later DOBERMAN.

42. Now days 80% of men against marriage as they have understood the fact that for just two idlies and a vada, it’s not worth buying the entire hotel.

43. While most people dream of success, those who succeed wake up and work for it.

44. What is the secret of success? I found the answer in my room. The fan said BE COOL. The window said TAKE PAINS. The clock said EVERY MINUTE IS PRECIOUS. The mirror said REFLECT BEFORE YOU ACT. The calendar said BE UP TO DATE. The door said PUSH. The lamp said MAKE THE LIGHT OF YOUR FUTURE.

45. Failure should never go to your heart. Success should never go to your head. Be simple. Think positive.

46. Although water falls from a hill, it never thinks it had fallen, it raises to run as an unstoppable river. Our greatest glory in life is not never falling but rising at every fall.

47. Night is longer than days for those who dream. But day is longer than for those who make their dreams come true.

48. Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.

49. For every minute you are angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can never get back.

50. Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears.
51. You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.

52. If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow, you have no today to be thankful for.

53. The choice you make today will usually affect tomorrow.

54. Love...and you shall be loved.

55. Everyone needs to be loved... especially when they do not deserve it.

56. God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him.

57. Thank God for what you have, TRUST GOD for what you need.

58. The real measure of a man's wealth is what he has invested in eternity

59. Man looks at outward appearance but the Lord looks within.

60. All people smile in the same language.
61.laughter is God's sunshine.

62. Take time to laugh, for it is the music of the soul.

63. When life gives you a thousand reasons to cry, show that you have a million reasons to smile. Keep smiling and enjoy life no matter how hard it may seem.

64. Everyone has beauty but not everyone sees it.

65. It's important for parents to live the same things they teach.

66. Love is strengthened by working through conflicts together.

67. Love is the only thing that can be divided without being diminished.

68. Harsh words break no bones but they do break hearts.

69. To get out of a difficulty, one usually must go through it.

70. We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for.

71. Happiness is enhanced by others but does not depend upon others.

72. The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.

73. The happiest people don’t have everything in life. The just make the best of everything that life brings their way.

74. Do what you can, for whom you can, with what you have, and where you are.

75. The thread asked the candle why u dissolve urself when I burn. The candle said when those who are in my heart suffer I am bound to shed tears!

76. The difference between a smart person and a wise person is that a smart person knows what to say and a wise person knows whether or not to say it.

77. Intelligent- they do tomorrow’s work today. Averages- they do today’s work today. Failures- they do yesterday’s work today. Be an intelligent!

78. To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.

79. Always have a positive attitude in life. There is something positive in every situation…Even a stopped clock is right twice a day!

80. Good judgement comes from experience and often experience comes from bad judgement.

81. 10 messages received:

1.Hi!
2. Hello!
3. I am fine.
4. How are you?
5. Hope you are fine!
6. Keep smiling.
7. Take care!
8. God bless you!
9. be happy!
10. Good morning/after-
Noon/evening/night!

82. The surprising thing about mankind is
*we lose our health to make money and then lose our money to restore our health
*By thinking about the future, we forget the present…such that, we live neither for the present nor for the future…
*We live as if we will never die and at last we die as if we never lived.

83. COMPROMISE: Dividing the cake in such a way that everyone believes he has got the biggest piece.
TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power.
YAWN: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their mistakes.
OVEROPTIMIST: A person, who while falling from the Eiffel Tower, says in midway “see! I am not injured yet.”

84. Time is like a river…. You cannot step on the same water twice, because the flow that has passed will never pass you again. Cherish every moment of your life.

85. The most selfish 1 letter word ‘I’ . Avoid it.
Most satisfactory 2 letter word ‘We’. Use it.
Most poisonous 3 letter word ‘ego’. Kill it.
Most used 4 letter word ‘love’. Value it.
Most pleasing 5letter word ‘smile.’ Keep it.
Fastest spreading 6 letter word ‘rumour’. Ignore it.
Hard working 7 letter word ‘success’. Achieve it.
Most enviable 8 letter word ‘jealousy’. Distance it.
Most powerful 9 letter word ‘knowledge’. Acquire it.
Most divine 10letter word ‘friendship’. Maintain it.

86. 3 things to watch: Beauty, behaviour and action.
3 things to control: Tongue, temper and temptation.
3 things to love: Purity, honesty and hard work.
3 things to leave: Lie, laziness and ego.

87. Only God can turn a MESS into MESSAGE. A TEST into TESTIMONY. A TRIAL into TRIUMPH. A VICTIM into VICTOR. God bless you this day. Good Morning.

88. People are made to be loved and things are made to be used. There is much chaos in this world because people are being used and things are being loved.

89. Thousands of yesterdays are gone. Millions of tomorrows will come. But here is only one TODAY, so I don’t want to miss the day to say you good morning…

90. There are three gates to self destructive hell- Lust, Anger and greed. Renounce these three lest you miss the goal of life, miss even happiness and success. - Bhagavad-Gita.
91. Life is like a Negro’s left ball. It is not fair and it is not right.

92. Thought: Worrying or complaining about problems is trying to drink soup with a fork. Good Morning.

93. We never get what we want, we never want what we get, we never have what we like, we never like what we have, still we live, still we hope this is life…Good morning!

94. The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is the way in which you use them.

95. When a man becomes rich ….he becomes naughty. When a woman becomes naughty…she becomes rich.

96. Despite the old saying “Don’t your troubles and worries to bed “, many people still sleep with their wives!!!!..... What a crazy world.

97.Kiss is the key of love, love is lock of marriage, marriage is the box of children, children are the problem of India, so don’t kiss!

98. 1960’s: ‘friends remember you in good and bad times.
1980’s: Friends remember you during good times and forget in bad times.
2005: Friends remember you only when SMS are free.

99. God’s gift, mother’s love, father’s advice, brother’s care, sister’s fight, baby’s smile and my SMS! GOOD night…..

100. Life is all about waking up each day to discover something new, about meeting old acquaintances but making new conversations, walking through old roads but still feeling nice about it, realizing that you have grown a day older but still feeling young at heart, meeting busy schedules but still finding time for old friends, being nostalgic about bygone days but looking forward to better days, wanting to shoot the person who sent such a long message but still managing to smile.

101. This is a universal fact: The person who hates you thinks about you double the times than the person who loves you! So never mind, it is hate or love. Be proud that you are remembered.

102. A man went to hospital for treatment. Doctor:’ Before treatment show your purse.” Patient:’ Before treatment show your nurse.”

103. Friendship is not a big fire which burns all the day but it is a small lamp which burns till last day of life.

104. Friendship is like the needle of a clock. Though we are in same clock, we are not able to meet. Even if we meet, it’s only for few minutes. That is friendship. Keep in touch. Good Morning.

105. When heart beats say ‘LUB DUB’, you know what it means. LUB says ‘Live your life best’. DUB says ‘Do your best’.

106. Have the determination of a mirror which never loses its ability to reflect even if it is broken into a thousand pieces!
107. 21st CENTURY ... USELESS!!!???
>Our communication - Wireless
>Our dress - Topless
>Our telephone - Cordless
>Our cooking - Fireless
>Our youth - Jobless
>Our religion - Creedless
>Our food - Fatless
>Our faith - Godless
>Our labour - Effortless
>Our conduct - Worthless
>Our relation - Loveless
>Our attitude - Careless
>Our feelings - Heartless
>Our politics - Shameless
>Our education - Valueless
>Our follies - Countless
>Our arguments – Baseless Finally,
>Our boss - hopeless
>Our Salary - Very less
108. 5 lessons to learn from a pencil…
1] Every thing you do leaves a mark
2] You can always correct your mistakes
3] Important is what’s inside you, not outside of you
4] In life you will undergo painful sharpening which make you better in what you do and lastly
5] To be the best, allow yourself to be held and guided by the hand that holds you.
109. When you want to enjoy life, think today as your life’s first day. When you want to achieve something in life, think today as your last day in life.
110. A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a Bra…. A boy is said to be grown up when he starts removing it…….
111. Co-incidence decides whom you meet in life, our heart decides with whom you want to stay in life, but it is only our destiny that decides who gets to stay in our life.
112.Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover boy, an accomplishment for a bachelor, and for a married man it is a matter of survival.
113. There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. Only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it.
114. It has been said that95% of the people earn5% of the money and the other 5% earn95% of the money. What is the difference between these individuals? Their plan, motivation and attitude towards success.
115. To make one Kg. of honey, bees have to go for million flowers, travelling a distance of 4times around the earth. Life is not easy even for the bees.
116. Happiness is the delicate balance of what one is, and what one has, it is the inner joy that can be sought or caught , but never taught or bought.
117. Money, attitude and ego are like your underwear… you should have it, but should not show it.
118. Friendship is like a tree. It demands attention and care in the beginning but once it blossoms, it provides you shade in every situation of life.
119. Making a million friends is not a miracle, the miracle is to make a friend who will stand by you when million are against you…..
120. Before you speak, listen.
Before you write, think.
Before you spend, earn.
Before you criticise, wait.
Before you pray, forgive.
Before you quit, try.
Before you die, write your name in everybody’s heart.

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Cartoon/ Air-Hostesses

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The TELUGU (తెలుగు) Language of Andhra Pradesh, India

Telugu is the principal and official language of the Andhra Pradesh State in India. It was also referred to as `Tenugu' in the past. `Andhra' is the name given to it since the medieval times. Some argued that `Telugu' was a corruption of `Trilinga' (Sanskrit meaning three `lingas'). A general description of the land of the Telugus was made in the medieval times as `the land marked by three lingas of the three famous shrines of Draksharamam (East Godavari district), Kaleswaram (Karimnagar district) and Srisailam (Kurnool district).

Telugu is the most widely spoken language of the Dravidian family which consists of 24 languages spanning the entire South-Asia, from Baluchistan to Sri Lanka. In terms of population, Telugu ranks second to Hindi among the Indian languages.According to the 1991 Census, Telugu is spoken by over 66 million in Andhra Pradesh (7.80% to total population of India). It has also spread to the other parts of the globe, i.e., Burma, Indo-China, South-Africa and the U.S.A. Being a mellifluous language, it is called, by its admirers as the `Italian of the East'.

It has also spread to the other parts of the globe, i.e., Burma, Indo-China, South-Africa and the U.S.A. Being a mellifluous language, it is called, by its admirers as the `Italian of the East'.

Its vocabulary is very much influenced by Sanskrit. In the course of time, some Sanskrit expressions used in Telugu got so naturalised that people regarded them as pure Telugu words. Some Kannada and Tamil words were also taken into Telugu but they did not gain much currency.

With the advent of the Muslim rule, several Persian and Arabic words entered into the Telugu language. But they were confined to the spoken language and to the language of the judiciary and the executive. The influence of Persian and Arabic is discernible to a considerable extent in the languages spoken in Telangana due to its long association with the Muslim rule. There is also a great element of English words in the vocabulary of Coastal Andhra and Rayalaseema because these regions were directly under the British rule for nearly a century and a half.

The evolution of Telugu can be traced through centuries in terms of its form as well as its function. Although culturally Telugu is close to its southern neighbours -- Tamil and Kannada -- genetically, it is closer to its northern neighbours -- Gondi, Konda, Kui, Kuvi, Pengo and Manda. There is evidence to show that these languages were freely borrowed from Telugu even from the prehistoric period whereas borrowing between Telugu and Tamil and Kannada has been mostly during the historic period, i.e., post-5th century B.C.
It is possible to identify broadly four stages in the history of the Telugu language.

(1) B.C. 200 -- A.D. 500
(2) A.D. 500--A.D.1100
(3) A.D. 1100--A.D.1400 and
(4) A.D. 1400--A.D.1900.

During the first phase, we only come across names of places and personal names of Telugu in Prakrit and Sanskrit inscriptions found in the Telugu country. Telugu was exposed to the influence of Prakrit as early as the 3rd century B.C. From this we know that the language of the people was Telugu, although the language of the rulers was different. The first complete Telugu inscription belongs to the Renati Cholas, found in Erragudipadu, Kamalapuram taluk of Cuddapah district and assigned to about A.D. 575. Telugu was exposed to the influence of Sanskrit about this period. It appears that literature also existed in Telugu about the same time, because we find literary style in the inscriptions some three centuries even before Nannaya's (A.D. 1022) Mahabharatam. During the time of Nannaya, the popular language had considerably diverged from the literary language.

In the period A.D. 500--1100, the literary languages confined to the poetic works, flourished in the courts of kings and among scholars. Phonetic changes, which occurred in the popular language, are reflected in the literary language, although the two streams remained apart in grammar and vocabulary.

During A.D. 1100--1400 the literary language got stylized and rigid, closing itself from the influence of contemporary spoken language. Ketana (13th century AD), a disciple of Tikkana prohibited the use of spoken words in the poetic works and quoted some spoken forms.

During the period A.D. 1400--1900, many changes culminating in today's form of Telugu took place.

The prose language of the 19th century, as can be seen from the `Kaifiyats', shows the educated speech as base with occasional influence of literary language. We also notice the influence of Urdu language on Telugu before the spread of English education.
From the foregoing overview of the history of the Telugu language, one can see that what we now use as modern standard Telugu, had its beginnings in the spoken variety, right from the 10th century A.D. The language was progressively enriched by contact with Sanskrit, Prakrit, Urdu and English from early times.

Until the advent of the printing press and the school system of education, Telugu was broadly used in four areas:
(1) Inscriptions,
(2) Poetry,
(3) Folk literature,
(4) Common speech (social and perhaps official).

The language of the inscriptions had always been based on the contemporary speech of the educated with an occasional admixture of literary and rustic expressions.
Folk literature, which was in the form of songs, drew mainly on the speech of the common people among whom it circulated, basically rural in its character.
Both in its appeal and form, the poetic language was confined to royal courts and the elite. Care was taken to keep it insulated from the speech of even the scholars and poets, who used it in other areas of communication. Because of this restriction on the medium, prose never emerged as a form of classical literature in Telugu. Even the sparse scientific writing on prosody, arithmetic, medicine and grammar was cast either in Telugu verse or in Sanskrit slokas.
The emergence of popular literary forms like the satakas devotional songs and the yaksha gana necessitated extensive reliance on contemporary spoken language in their appeal and expressiveness. Early commentaries, historical accounts (like Rayavachakam), and the few prose works, which were written for instructional purposes in the first half of the 19th century, were all written in educated speech which was distinct from the language of the literary dialect. In 1853, Chinnayasuri, a Telugu pundit in the Presidency College, first experimented with a prose variety based on the classical poetic language in his book "Niti Chandrika". In 1855, he published Bala Vyakaranamu, an excellent grammar of the poetic language, but it was intended for school study and as a guide to `Correct Writing'. These works had, to some extent, given support to traditional pundits, who upheld the Kavya bhasha as primary and the spoken language as its degenerate form. The influence of Chinnayasuri temporarily arrested the growth of creative prose by famous writers until Gurazada Appa Rao appeared on the scene and produced his social play Kanyasulkam in 1897 in a near modern language. The controversy that raged between the two schools, classical and modern subsided in 1919 with a victory for the classic writers to perpetuate the use of the so-called granthikam (or the poetic dialect) as the language of the text-book language and the medium of examination. However, teaching has all along been done only in the spoken variety of the teacher.

For about 90 years (1850--1940), Telugu prose had a stunted growth, although scholars like Kandukuri Viresalingam and Panuganti Lakshminarasimha Rao used a `liberalized poetic variety' in their writings, which was neither fully classical nor fully modern.

Since the nineteen forties, Telugu prose style wriggled out of the clutches of the traditional pundits. The emergence of mass media of communication, like the radio, T.V., cinema, language, newspapers and new forms of writing, under the impact of nationalist movement reinforced the importance of the spoken word and various literary forms blossomed in modern language. By and large, the prosperous Krishna -- Godavari delta became the breeding ground of many writers and scholars, and their spoken variety assumed several prose forms and slowly spread to other areas assimilating other dialects in its course. The language now used in all modern forms of literature and newspapers has a great degree of uniformity and acceptability, which lends it the status of a standard language. Now the nationalised text-books and those prescribed for Telugu language degree by universities are the only `sanctuaries' of the poetic dialect.

The seminar sponsored by the State Government in 1964 at Sri Venkateswara University, Tirupati, resolved that only the modern language should be used for all subject (non-1st language) books written in Telugu and all 2nd language books. This resolution has been implemented in the case of subject text-books produced by the Telugu Akademi. Now all the universities in the State are allowing the use of modern Telugu as the examination medium and modern literature has been prescribed for study at the University level. In 1966, Telugu became the official language of the State and in 1974, correspondence in Telugu was made at the taluk level. This was gradually extended to Heads of Departments and Secretariat levels. In 1969, Telugu as the medium of instruction was introduced on a large scale in higher education.

Literature

Telugu literature is generally divided into six periods, viz.,

(1) The pre-Nannaya period (up to A.D. 1020),

(2) The Age of the Puranas (1020--1400),

(3) The Age of Srinatha (1400--1510),

(4) The Age of the Prabandhas (1510--1600),

(5) The Southern period (1600--1820), and

(6) The Modern Period (after 1820).

In the earliest period there were only inscriptions from A.D. 575 onwards.
Nannaya's (1022--1063) translation of the Sanskrit Mahabharata into Telugu is the piece of Telugu literature as yet discovered. The diction is so masterly that historians think that there must have been earlier works in Telugu. After the death of Nannaya, there was a kind of social and religious revolution in the Telugu country.

Virasaivism propagated bhakti towards Siva as the only means of attaining salvation. Tikkana (13th century) and Yerrana (14th century) continued the translation of the Mahabharata started by Nannaya. Yerrana was also a devotee of Siva. Quite a few poets continued writing in Telugu and we come to the age of Srinatha.

During this period, some Telugu poets translated Sanskrit poems and dramas, while others attempted original narrative poems. The popular Telugu literary form called the Prabandha was evolved during this period. Srinatha (1365--1441) was the foremost poet, who popularised this style of composition (a story in verse having a tight metrical scheme). Srinatha's, Sringara Naishadham is particularly well-known.

We may also refer to the Ramayana poets in this context. The earliest Ramayana in Telugu is generally known as the Ranganatha Ramayana, though authorised by the chief Gona Buddha Reddi. Then there were the great religious poets like Potana (1450--1510), Jakkana (second half of the 14th century) and Gaurana (first half of the 15th century).

The golden period of Telugu literature was the 16th and 17th centuries A.D., Krishnadevaraya's Amuktamalayada is regarded as a Mahakavya. Peddana's Manucharitra is another outstanding Mahakavya. Telugu literature flourished in the south in the Samsthanas like Madurai, Tanjavur etc., and that is why the age itself was called the `Southern Period'. We find a comparatively larger number of poets among the rulers, women and non-Brahmins who popularised the desi metres.

With the conquest of the Deccan by the Mughals in A.D.1687, there ensued a period of decadence (1750--1850) in literature. Then emerged a period of transition (1850--1910), following a long period of Renaissance. The Europeans like C.P.Brown played an important role in the development of Telugu language and literature. In common with the rest of India, Telugu literature of this period was increasingly influenced by the European literary forms like the novel, short story, prose, drama, belles-litters, etc.

The father of modern Telugu literature is Kandukuri Viresalingam Pantulu (1848--1919), who wrote a novel, Rajasekhara Charitamu, inspired by the Vicar of Wakefield. He was the first person in modern times to use literature to eradicate social evils. He was followed by Rayaprolu Subba Rao, Gurazada Appa Rao, Viswanatha Satyanarayana, Katuri Venkateswara Rao, Jashuva, Devulapalli Venkata Krishna Sastry, Sri Sri, Puttaparty Narayana Charyulu and others in the sphere of poetry. Viswanatha Satyanarayana had won the coveted Jnanapith Award. ``Kanyasulkam'' (Bride-Money), the first social play in Telugu by Gurazada Appa Rao was a thumping success. We also find the progressive movement, free verse movement and Digambara style finding expression in Telugu verse. The well-known modern Telugu novelists were Unnava Lakshminarayana (of Malapalli fame), Viswanatha Satyanarayana (Veyi Padagalu), K.Kutumba Rao and Buchchi Babu. Telugu is specially known for its daring experiments in the field of poetry and drama.
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What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Question : What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer:
An English princess
with an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French tunnel,
driving a German car
with a Dutch engine,
driven by a Belgian who was drunk
on Scottish whisky,
followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,
on Japanese motorcycles;
treated by an American doctor,
using Brazilian medicines.
This is sent to you by Indian,
using Bill Gates's technology,
and you're probably reading this on your computer,
that use Taiwanese chips,
and a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers
in a Singapore plant,
transported by Pakistan lorry-drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....
That, my friend, is Globalization.
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OOTY beauty

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ACHIEVEMENT/ SUCCESS (ACCOMPLISHMENT /ATTAINMENT/ CONQUEST/TRIUMPH/VICTORY/WINNING) :

‘You were born to succeed!
Success is Nature’s law.’



‘No two will define success in the same words; yet failure is always described but one way- failure is man’s inability to reach his goals in life, whatever they may be. ‘


 A survey, among some American Executives asking them to describe what Success is, revealed responses falling into 4 groups.
1] For the first group, success meant owning material possessions, such as cars, buildings, gold, precious stones etc.
2] For the second group, success meant experiencing particular feelings, like feel satisfied/ happy.
3] For the third group, success meant achieving goals. They set goals, achieve them, and then set new goals. Here, success is a process of getting from one point to the next.
4] For the fourth group, success is related to their personal mission, hence finding and fulfilling their mission will be success.
The last group has deeper foundation, than the first three groups which may run into serious problems as- material possessions never satisfy for long, feelings are nebulous, and even goals can become meaningless after a while.

However, attainment of excellence in whatever field one chooses may be considered as a success. The fields may vary- business, studies, politics, religion, spiritualism, research, management, governing, games, acting, singing, teaching, writing, social service etc., yet everyone whoever has excelled in his field has an AMBITION and LIVES UP TO FULFILLMENT of it. Thus we may consider the fulfillment of one’s ambition as success.

Success is not an accident. Success is not handed to anyone on a silver platter. No one just stumbles over a pot of gold or a good job or lots of money or happiness. Success must be earned. The only way to earn it is to utilize to the fullest extent possible, whatever combination of talent, skill, and intelligence one possesses. Millions of people in this world live a mediocre life with little or no ambitions or fail to recognize/ act on their true potential. Many of the people, who have plenty of ambition, fail to attain their aim because, either they do not know how to achieve their purpose or they are not prepared to pay the price in sweat, sacrifice and sustained effort. The individuals who attain success will not only have ambitions but are also determined, diligent, and persevering. Concentrating all their energies, they constantly strive hard, for the fulfillment of their ambitions, with the optimal utilization of the available resources. Such accomplishments should be in line with the requirement of the society, good and useful. Thus, Success should be a progressive achievement of worthy and challenging goals or dreams.

On our path to success, we have to fight the tendency to look at others and see how far they have come or to look for their approval of our success. A thoroughbred horse never looks at other racehorses. It just concentrates on running the fastest race it can run. So compete with yourself. Your business in life is not to get ahead of other people, but to get ahead of yourself. Your goal is to be better today than you were yesterday and to be better tomorrow than you are today. Strive for constant and never-ending improvement and always try to better your best.

Everybody wants success. Then, the first and important step in achieving success is how you define success for yourself. People who don’t have a personal definition for success are less successful and are less satisfied with their careers and their lives. If you want to be successful, you must first define what success means to you.

Once you define success for yourself, then definite steps/ keys (Please see: success formula) are available to attain it.
(Please also see ‘Achievement & success’)

GEMS ON ACHIEVEMENT/ SUCCESS (ACCOMPLISHMENT /ATTAINMENT/ TRIUMPH/VICTORY/WINNING):
 The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called failure, a loop called confusion, speed bumps called friends, and red lights called LOVE.
 Success is a journey, not a destination.
 Success is the progressive achievement of worthy and challenging goals or dreams.
 Success is knowing your purpose in life,
Growing to reach your maximum potential, and
Sowing seeds that benefit others.
 Every single life only becomes great when the individual sets upon a goal or goals which they really believe in, which they can really commit themselves to, which they can put their whole heart and soul into.
 Success is going forward, from failure without losing your enthusiasm.
 The road to success is not straight. There is a curve called failure, a loop called confusion, speed bumps called friends, and red lights called LOVE.
 Success is sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out.
 Success is the full use of your strength and skill along the lines of excellence.
 Success comes with sacrifice.
 The starting point to becoming successful in any field is to become absolutely excellent in one area.
 Getting something done is an accomplishment; getting something done right is an achievement.
 The best measure of success in life is the ratio of our accomplishments to our capabilities.
 Success is getting what you want. Happiness is, liking what you get.
 Success in life comes not from holding a good hand, but in playing a poor hand.
 Success is failure kicked to pieces by hard work.
 Success is doing, not wishing.
 Success is constancy in purpose.
 Success is that old ABC- Ability, Breaks and Courage
 Success has many fathers, but failure is always an orphan.
 Success is important only to the extent that puts one in a position to do more things one likes to do.
 It takes twenty years to make an overnight success.
 Success is a little like a wrestling a gorilla. You don’t quit when you are tired- you quit when the gorilla is tired.
 To be vanquished and yet not surrender, that is victory.
 Success is being happy with what you have got. You can enjoy success simply by reaching a point where you are perfectly content with your life.
 Achievement is different from success. Achievement refers to ‘getting What you want.’ Achievement requires the ability to set goals and objectives, to make plans of action, and then to implement those plans, overcome obstacles and difficulties in reaching the goals that you have set.
 Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
 ‘Succeed’, simply means to follow through.
 Triumph is ‘umph’ added to ‘try.’
 To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded.
 List of qualities that contribute to success:
Ability 5%
Knowledge 5%
Discipline 10%
Attitude 40%
Enthusiasm 40%
 The ladder of success:
0%- I won’t.
10%- I can’t.
20%- I don’t know how.
30%- I wish I could.
40%- I could.
50%- I think I might.
60%- I might.
70%- I think I can.
80%- I can.
90%- I will.
100%- I did.
 There are two kinds of people on the road of life. Passengers and drivers.
 Winning is a habit, unfortunately, so is losing.
 Often the difference between a success and a failure is not one’s better abilities or ideas, but the courage that one has to bet on his ideas, to take a calculated risk-and to act.
 …People of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happen to things.
 The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can't be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.
 No man is a failure who is enjoying life.
 The man who succeeds above his fellows is the one who early in life, clearly discerns his object, and towards that object habitually directs his powers. Even genius itself is but fine observation strengthened by fixity of purpose. Every man who observes vigilantly and resolves steadfastly grows unconsciously into genius.
 Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire.
 There is only one success-to be able to live your life in your own way.
 There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.
 Always reward your long hours of labor and toil in the very best way, surrounded by your family. Nurture their love carefully, remembering that your children need models, not critics, and your own progress will hasten when you constantly strive to present your best side to your children. And even if you have failed at all else in the eyes of the world, if you have a loving family, you are a success.
 To get what you want, STOP doing what isn't working.
 Private victories precede public victories.
 The ability to manage well doesn't make much difference if you're not even in the right jungle.
 You can get anything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.
 There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it.
 Be careful not to confuse being rich with living a rich life. Being rich (financially) is a worthy goal, but living a rich life should be our primary mission. And this comes from having who we become, not what we achieve being our main objective.
 If you develop the habits of success, you will make success a habit.
 You can only be happy when you are in the process of achieving a goal. Without a goal there can be no accomplishment. Without accomplishment there is no meaning—no satisfaction. Man was created for accomplishment.
 If I can always find a way to survive, then I have the same skills it takes to thrive.
 It is a sin to be poor.
 Success is doing what you want to do, when you want, where you want, with whom you want, as much as you want.
 The method of the enterprising is to plan with audacity, and execute with vigor; to sketch out a map of possibilities; and then to treat them as probabilities.
 People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.
 It's easier to go down a hill than up, but the view is much better at the top.
 There are two ways to shine...You can be the candle or, the mirror that reflects it.

ACHIEVEMENT & ACCOMPLISHMENTGetting something done is an accomplishment.
Getting something done right is an achievement.

ACHIEVEMENT AND SUCCESS:Success is being happy with what you have got. You can enjoy success simply by reaching a point where you are perfectly content with your life.

Achievement is different from success. Achievement refers to ‘getting what you want.’ Achievement requires the ability to set goals and objectives, to make plans of action, and then to implement those plans, overcome obstacles and difficulties in reaching the goals that you have set.

(from my book "10 Fundamental Rules of Success", Publishers: PUSTAK MAHAL, New Delhi)
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E-Mail attachment

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Story of DIWALI- American Ishtyle

A young second generation Indian in the US was asked by his mother to explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this is how he went about it... .
" So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something... Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so.. he decided to get his wife and his bro along...you know...so that they could all chill out together. But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really man... they had monkeys and devils and shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked ass with darts and bows and arrows... so it was fine. But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man , and also his bro,Laxman,pissed...And you don't piss this son-of-a-gun cuz, he just kicks ass and like... all the gods were with him... So anyways, you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys. Dude don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok...So, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own hood. Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest. and anyways...it gets kinda boring, you know...no TV or malls or shit like that. So, they decided to hitch a ride back home... and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home... they thought, well, you know, at least
they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days...so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and shit...and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also... so it was pretty cooool...you know with all those fireworks... Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks... and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding.., that was the very first music-synchronized fireworks... you know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know. And, so dude, that was how, like, this festival started."
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which bird are you?

Date of birth 21 Jan - 17 Feb BirdRobin
Characteristics:A cool exterior disguises a fiery temper and is very opinionated -although those opinions are not always shared by everyone. They areproud and particularly home-loving, although have a tendency to bequarrelsome.
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Date of birth 18 Feb - 17 March BirdGoldfinch
Characteristics:Goldfinch people are colorful characters who are sensitive and alwaysalert. They are gregarious by nature and love being in groups ofpeople, which offers them security. They need to find an outlet fortheir imaginative abilities or they are sometimes be in danger ofbecoming nervous and irritable.
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Date of birth 18 March - 14 April BirdHawk
Characteristics:A powerful individual which displays courage and a sometimes ruthlessdetermination. Avoids problematical obstacles with skill, althoughmust be fully targeted so as not to waste energy in fruitless chasesfor the impossible.
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Date of birth 15 April - 12 May BirdAlbatross
Characteristics:Has a tendency to have a mind that wanders, but when in search of aparticular goal, will travel great lengths to achieve it.Occasionally, the albatross may become caught up in things itshouldn't when not seeing clearly enough.
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Date of birth 13 May - 9 June BirdDove
Characteristics:Peace-loving by nature, doves will bill and coo about things close totheir heart. They enjoy a fulfilling love-life and rarely fail tosatisfy. They are also patient, adaptable and personable. Their lackof aggression sometimes makes them the victim of more predatorycharacters.
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Date of birth 10 June- 7 July BirdEagle
Characteristics:A well-respected figure which has excellent visionary qualities.Eagles will truck no nonsense and will fix opponents with a powerfulstare. They have the power to rise above the trivial aspects ofhumanity, and are highly talented.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Date of birth 8 July- 4 August BirdNightingale
Characteristics:More often heard before being seen, nightingales always have somethingto say for themselves. They are however very much in tune with theirpartners. Their unimpressive exterior hides a personality that is justwaiting to burst out.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Date of birth 5 August - 1 Sept Bird Kingfisher
Characteristics:Another flamboyant and colorful character that is always exciting toencounter. They rush around at great speed and have a close spiritualaffinity with water. They have a sharp and perceptive head on them,but can make them impetuous enough to dive in where others would fearto go.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Date of birth 2 Sept - 29 Sept Bird Swan
Characteristics:The swan is a complex character. While appearing on the surface as acalm and relaxed individual, underneath they are working hard to keepup with the pace of modern life. If provoked their natural gracefuldemeanor can give way to a violent temper which puts them in a flap.They are definitely someone to have on your side.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Date of birth 30 Sept - 27 Oct Bird Woodpecker
Characteristics:A tough, hard-working character with plenty of stamina. Has no problemdrumming up support for their ideas, no matter how wacky they seem.With a lateral-thinking mind they are skilled at dissecting problemsand seeing the wood for the trees. However, with their noisy andexuberant lifestyle, you might not want to have one as a neighbor.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Date of birth 28 Oct - 24 Nov Bird Kestrel
Characteristics: A sharp brain helps kestrel people hover from one subject to anotherwithout losing concentration. They focus on their life's goal with asingle-minded focus, not flustered by what is going on around them. Aconfidence in their own ability helps them to soar to heights othersmay only dream of.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Date of birth 25 Nov - 23 Dec Bird Raven
Characteristics: Always impressive, raven people are a tower of strength. They are moreintelligent than their peers and are adept problem-solvers. They enjoychallenges are stimulated by wild and exposed places.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Date of birth 24 Dec - 20 Jan Bird Heron
Characteristics: Heron people are deceptive. Although they may be solitary individualsfor much of the time, they nevertheless have a need to settle in busycommunities where they know everyone else. They may get bogged down asthey wade the course of life, but have broad enough shoulders to copewith weighty issues. But their insecure nature often leads them tofish for compliments.
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JOY

My son Nishanth, d-i-l Kim & grandson Kishan
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The Moods of A Woman & A Man

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RIDDLES

RIDDLES
1) IT is greater than God, IT is worse than devil, IT is eaten by God and devil and if we eat IT we die. What is that IT?

2) A ________ surgeon is ____ _______ to perform surgery as there is __ ______. (The same word is to be filled in all the blanks. But, the same word is split in to two in the second and the third blanks.)

3) In a year how many months have 28 days? ____________

4) Choose any three numbers from 1to 9. Whether you add them or multiply them, the answer is same. Which are those 3 numbers?

5) How can you double your money? ____________________

6) What travels round the world yet stays in one corner? ______ ______.

7) When do 2 and 2 make more than 2? _________.

8) Using number 8 only 8 times, make a total of 1,000.
______ + ______ + ______ + ______ + ______

9) What has six legs, but only walks with four?
______ ______ ______ ______ ______

10) What word of FOUR letters still has FIVE left, when three of the letters taken away? ______________.

11) I have two hands, but no arms. Who am I? ___________.

12) What did Nehru become after his 39th year?

13) Can you write Eleven Thousand Eleven Hundred and Eleven? ____________________________________.

14) What belongs to you, but is used more by others?
_______________________________.

15) There is one 9 between 1 and 10. Similarly there is one more 9 between 10 and 20, and also between 20 and 30.
Then how many 9s are found between 1 and 100.____________.

16) When did Christmas and New Years fall in the same year? __________________.

17) Can you solve it?

(x-a) (x-b) (x-c) (x-d) (x-e) (x-f) (x-g) (x-h) (x-i) (x-j)
(X-k) (x-l) (x-m) (x-n) (x-o) (x-p) (x-q) (x-r) (x-s) (x-t) (x-u) (x-v) (x-w) (x-x) (x-y) (x-z). ________________.

18) An electrical train is moving with a speed of 160 km/hour from east to west. The wind is moving at a speed of 60 km/hour from north to south. Which direction will the smoke from the rail engine travel?

19) “O“
“T“
“T“
“F“
“F“
“S“
“S“
“E“
“N“
“ “ What is the next letter in this series?

20) Using five 3s we get ‘100’ as under.
33 x 3 + 3/3 = 100.

Now, using five 3s can you get ‘10’?

21) A police van which was going very fast, stopped suddenly. Why?

___________________________________________.

22) A word in English language reads the same when turned upside down and back to front. What is that word?

23) A person wearing black shirt, black pant, black hat, black shoes, black watch and black spectacles, knocking the door of a house. Why? __________________________________________
24) Barking dog does not bite. Why? _______________________________________

25) From where did the birds come to Chennai? _______________________________________

26) Seven is an odd number. How can you make it even?
_____________________________________

27) How can you make road broad?
_____________________________________

28) How many sides does a circle have?
_____________________________________

29) How many seconds are there in a year?

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30) How was M.G.R, before his death?
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31) If a man marries a princess, what would he be?

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32) If a man was born in Mumbai, raised in Hyderabad, came to Tiruchi and died in Chennai, what is he?

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33) If you throw a black stone into the Cauvery River, what will become?

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34) If you cut an apple into two, what would you get?
_______________________________

35) John’s mother has four sons; namely, East, West and north. Who is the fourth son? _____________________________

36) Name the first bus that went America. ___________

37) One plus ten makes nine, instead of eleven. How?
____________________________________

38) There are 10 frogs in a well, among those 10, 4 are dead. Now how many frogs would be in the well?
______________________________________

39) The alphabet goes from A to Z. What word goes from Z to A? __________________________________

40) To whom does a king take of his crown? ____________

41) To live hundred years, what one needs to do?
____________________________________

42) What did Columbus see on his right hand when he Discovered America? _________________________

43) Divide 50 by ½ and add 50. What is the result?
_______________________________________

44) Can you write 31 using only the digit 3 five times?
______________________________________

45) By drawing one line, make the following figure into an even number.- IX
________________________________________

46) Using 3 digits, what is the least number you can arrive at?
(You can use the numbers 1 to 10). _______________________________________

47) What is lighter than a feather, but can not be held for more than a minute? _______________________________

48) What is that dark but made of light? ____________

49) What is the difference between an African elephant and an Asian elephant? _______________________________________

50) Why do we plant trees in the sides of a road?

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51) What would be the colour of the teeth of a baby that is born in South Africa? ____________________________________

52) What is as big as an elephant but does not weigh even a milligram?
_____________________________________

53) What holds water but is full of holes? _______________
54) What is the end of the world? ___________________
55) When will a net hold water? __________________________________________
56) When does a car go exactly as fast as a train? _________________________________________
57) Where can you always find health, wealth and happiness?
_________________________________________
58) Where are the kings of England usually crowned?
_______________________________________

59) Which is sweet; an apple or a ripe mango? _______________________________________

60) Which is the word that has all the vowels in it? _________

61) Which state does the Ganges be? __________________

62) Who always goes to bed with shoes on? _____________

63) Who can jump higher than a statue? __________________________________________

64) Who earns a living without doing a days work? _____________________________________

65) Why did the cowboy ride his horse? _______________________________________

66) Why did the boy throw butter out of the window? ________________________________________

67) Why do lions eat raw meat? _____________________________________

68) Why is that those who live in southern side of Kauveri River, not buried in the northern side of it?

_______________________________________

69) Why was MGR buried in Anna Nagar? _______________________________________

70) Why do we buy clothes? ______________________________________

71) Using the number 7 only 7 times make a total of 100. _______________________________________

72) 54+4+6=500. Using one stroke, make the equation true. ________________________________________

73) A digit is used 3 times and the sum is 60. Any mathematical sign may be used. ______________________________

74) Place the fewest possible mathematical symbols between the following digits in order to make the equation true. _________________________________________

75) Find the number which when multiplied by 13 is increased by 100.

76) The difference between the number and its square root is 90. What is the number? _________________________

77) How do you represent 1 by writing 9, three times? ______________________________________

78) I am 7 letters long- 1234567. My 123 is a vehicle. My 456 is a piece of luggage.
My 567 changes every year. What am I?

79) Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall,how long would it take four men to build it?

80)
Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
81)
Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
82) Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
83) Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
84) Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
85) Q. What looks like half apple?
86) Q. What can you never eat for breakfast?
87) Q. What happened when wheel was invented?
88) Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state?
89) Q: Rhul Gandhi is the ____________of Indira Gandhi's son.
90) Q:These English words have one thing in common:
banana, dresser, grammar, potato, revive, uneven
91) Q: Do you know the logic of emergency ambulance) number-'108'
92) Q: If 1=5
2=25
3=125
4=625
5=?
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RIDDLES SOLVED

1)IT is NOTHING.
2)Notable, not able and no table.
3)All the 12 months have 28 days.
4)The three numbers are 1,2 and 3. If you add them the answer is 6.If you multiply them then too the answer is 6.
5)By looking into a mirror.
6)Postage stamp.
7)When they make 22.
8)888+ 88 + 8 + 8 + 8 = 1,000.
9)A horse with a rider.
10. LOVE- remove three letters, L,O and E, then remains ‘V’, the roman number five.
11. Clock.
12. Forty years old.
13. 11000
1100
11
______
12111
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14. Your name.

15. 20. You count like this 9,19,29,39,49,59,69,79,89,90,91, 92, 93,94,95,96,97,98, and99.
16. Christmas and New Years always fall in the same year; New Year comes at the first of the year, and Christmas comes near the end of it.
17. Answer is ‘0’. X-x = 0. Any number multiplied with ‘0’ is 0.

18. There is no smoke from an electrical train.

19.
“O“ne
“T“wo
“T“hree
“F“our
“F“ive
“S“ix
“S“even
“E“ight
“N“ine
“T”en

20. 3+3+3+3/3 = 9+1 = 10.
21. Because, sudden break was applied.
22. Noon.
23. There is no calling bell.
24. Both can not be done at a time.
25. Of course, from eggs.
26. Take away the letter‘s’.
27. Just add ‘b’ to it.
28. Two. Inside and outside.
29. Twelve. 2nd, January, 2nd, February, 2nd, March ……
30. He was alive.
31. Her husband.
32. He is dead.
33. It will become wet.
34. Two pieces.
35. John.
36. Columbus.
37. I + X = IX.
38. 10.
39. Zebra.
40. Barber.
41. One needs to breathe.
42. Five fingers.
43. 50 /(1/2) + 50 = 50x (2/1) + 50 = 150.
44.
3
3 +3 + 3/3 = 27 + 3 + 1 = 31.

45. six
46. 1
1
1
47. Breath.
48. Shadow.
49. African elephant is in Africa and Asian elephant is in Asia.
50. If they are planted in middle of the road, buses can not go.
51. No teeth for a new born baby.
52. An elephant’s shadow.
53. Sponge.
54. ‘d’.
55. When water is frozen.
56. When it is on the train
57. In the dictionary
58. On the head
59. They are not sweets but fruits.
60. Education.
61. Liquid state.
62. A horse.
63. Anybody. Statues can’t jump.
64. Night watchman.
65. Because the horse was too heavy to carry.
66. Because he wanted to see butterfly.
67. Because they do not know to cook.
68. Only the dead are buried.
69. Because he was dead.
70. Because we can not get them free.
71. (7x7)+(7x7)+ 7+7
------
7
72. 54+446=500.
73. 55+5=60
74. One of the several ways is
1+ (2x3) + (4x5)-6+7+ (8x9) =100
75. X x 13 = X + 180
13X –X = 180
12X = 180
X = 180/12 = 15
_____
76. 100. (100-\/ 100 = 90 )


77.
9-9 0
9 = 9 = 1

78. CABBAGE.
79. A. No time at all it is already built.
80. A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
81. A. Very large hands.(Good one)
82. A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.
83. A. No Probs, He sleeps at night.
84. A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that.
85. A: The other half.
86. A: Dinner.
87. A: It caused a revolution.
88. A : Liquid
89. A: name
90.A: if all the words listed, if the first letter, is placed at the end of the word
and read backwards it spells out the same.
91. A: Your birth year(last 2 digits) + your current age = 108
92. A: 1 (Remember the first line? 1=5)
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Indian Cow

You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this. This is a true essay written by a successful candidate at the UPSC Examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:

You can check the veracity of this fact from the pages of The Hindu at the following URL: http://www.hindu.com/thehindu/2001/08/11/stories/1311110a.htm
Excerpts of this classic essay are provided at the end of that article.

Indian Cow

"HE IS THE COW. The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4 footed, And because he is female, he give milks, [ but will do so when he is got child.] He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement. [ horses dont have any such attachment]
What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy species, Also his other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat cakes[like Pizza] , in hand and drying in the sun.
Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His only attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he is got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with great velocity forwards. He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his cohesive body hereupon he gives hit with it.
The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he shouts . His eyes and nose are like his other relatives. This is the cow....... "

We are informed that the candidate passed the exam, and is now an IAS!

"ANURADHA KHATI RAJIVAN

Indian English never ceases to amaze and delight. When a parent complains of an unnecessarily "strengthy syllabus" troubling his daughter or a little baby doing "interval" in her nappies, one can hardly resist a smile. May be wrong, but how appropriate and uniquely Indian! The number of "done-key" and "maun-key" stories from Punjab are too numerous to repeat. Donkeys and monkeys may not care one way or another, but they provide real "pluy-year" (pleasure) to those who have enough "luy-year" (leisure) to "muy- year" these things.

In southern parts of Tamil Nadu, on the other hand, pleasure would be a motor car as against a jeep. Jeeps are tough on your spine and behind, cars are a pleasure, I suppose. Where else but in India would a young mother wanting to make a good impression on her visiting parents-in-law shout at her five year old son, "Hurry up and wear your jetties! Don't run around showing your bathroom!" as the little fellow escapes her grasp. And then there is the one about a teacher asking the children to open the classroom windows on a stuffy day to "let the atmosphere come in"! A much repeated joke about the language of PT masters is "both of you three stand in a straight circle!" Or the one about an Accountancy teacher: "I have two daughters - both girls"!

But English in India can horrify just as easily as it can delight. The latest is about those who correct English examination answer sheets for the various school leaving board examinations. Students of class XII report that just about any teacher is allowed to correct English scripts. So, even if you have been taught to write in a particular way expected by the Board, the Physics teacher who corrects has no clue about it. She may simply go ahead and correct.

Shreeja, a bright youngster from Bangalore who always scored in her nineties, including in her tenth standard boards, thought she had done very well. Imagine her shock when she saw the results - only 73 per cent. It would not have mattered very much, but the university she was applying to selected students on the basis of the average percentage scored in English plus three other subjects. So though Shreeja had scored in the nineties in all other subjects, she was disappointed when English brought her average down drastically. "Some Hindi medium teacher has corrected your paper!" said her classmates trying to console her.

Anand, a student from Chennai, was already contributing articles to newspapers fairly regularly. He had won many inter-school essay contests and two open competitions. Since he wanted to study journalism, it was critical for him to score high marks in English. He loved the subject. He had already taken the British 'O' and 'A' level exams in English for which he was awarded an A grade. His mother was a journalist and father an economist - there was an atmosphere of English writing in the house. Quite naturally he was sure of an excellent percentage in English. But horror of horrors, all he got was 80 per cent. This straight away excluded him from admission in English or journalism! "I heard tha a PT master has corrected English papers in our region!" he came crying home. "My friend, Subbu, also got low marks - 82 per cent. And imagine Kantha getting 99 per cent. She was constantly pulled up in class for her terribly poor spellings and no punctuation marks right up to the tenth Boards. Now she has switched to the state board so she ends up beating all of us!"

Anand's world would have crumbled, but for the fact that the better colleges in Delhi University did not trust any of the boards for marks in English. They had their own written tests to assess competence. Based on his good performance in the entrance test Anand made it to the course of his choice. His friend, Subbu, never made the cut off for economics, commerce, or even mathematics because of low English marks.

A recent study from the Centre for Development Studies, Thiruvananthapuram, showed that around half the SSLC English teachers for 2001 themselves made gross mistakes in English. The study was based on questionnaire responses from over 2000 teachers who had accepted valuation duty for the March 2001. SLC examination. Of then only 578 had written without spelling or grammar errors, more than 45 per cent had never attended any in- service training programme, and only a miniscule seven per cent had a degree in English. Moreover, even of the few who had a degree in English, as many as 57 per cent were third divisioners themselves. It appeared that the government system allowed any graduate to handle English which was considered to be neither a "core" subject nor a "language".

Little wonder that the one comparative advantage that the colonial period left behind for India, English language skills so successfully encashed by our computer professionals over the past few years, is rapidly disappearing. An essay on the cow supposedly written by a successful candidate in a UPSC examination is a lovely example of the English acceptable even in higher examinations.

Go ahead and savour some of the extracts:

"The cow is a successful animal. ... and because he is female, he give milk... Also he is quadruped, four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards. His whole body can be utilized for use...Various ghee, butter, ... and the condensed milk... Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankinds generally.... His motion is slow.... Also his other motion is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat cakes in hand and drying in sun.... Cow is the only animal that extracts its feeding after eating. Then afterwards he chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside of the mouth.... He has got tail also, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other side... to frighten away flies which alight on his... body whereupon he gives hit with it.... At night time... he shuts his eyes like his relatives, the horse does not do. This is the cow."

Would this pass in any other Indian language examination?

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