My SCRAPBOOK (సేకరణలు): A COLLECTION of articles in English and Telugu(తెలుగు), from various sources, on varied subjects. I do not claim credit for any of the contents of these postings as my own.A student's declaration made at the end of his answer paper, holds good to the articles here too:"I hereby declare that the answers written above are true to the best of my friend's knowledge and I claim no responsibility whatsoever of the correctness of the answers."

Friday, March 17, 2006

An SMS: WELL DONE, BRITISH AIRWAYS!

This scene took place on a BA flight between Johannesburg, South Africa and London, England.
A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man.
Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air hostess.
"You obviously do not see it then?" she responded.
"You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat."
"Be calm please," the hostess replied.
"Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available."
The hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later.
"Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the Economy Class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no seat in the Business Class. All the same, we still have one place in the First Class."
Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued. "It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the Economy Class to sit in the First Class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone sooooo disgusting."
She turned to the black guy, and said, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in First Class."
At that moment, the other passengers, who'd been shocked by what they had just witnessed, stood up and applauded.
This is a true story. If you are against racism, please send this message to all your friends; please do not delete it without sending it to at least one person.
WELL DONE, British Airways.
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Wednesday, March 15, 2006

ONE PARAGRAPH THAT EXPLAINS LIFE!


Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983.

From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?

To this Arthur Ashe replied: The world over -- 5 crore children start playing tennis, 50 lakh learn to play tennis, 5 lakh learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam, 50 reach Wimbledon, 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals,
When I was holding a cup I never asked GOD "Why me?".

And today in pain I should not be asking GOD "Why me?"

Happiness keeps u Sweet, Trials keep u Strong, Sorrow keeps u Human, Failure Keeps u Humble, Success keeps u Glowing, But only God Keeps u Going.....

Keep Going.....
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Information Technology Vs. Management

A man in hot balloon realized he was lost.
He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be in information technology," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."
The woman below responded, "You must be in management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and
you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you
are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now,
somehow, it's my fault."
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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

TELUGU (తెలుగు) Conversations :Survival Kit -V I

(The sixth 10 of the 94 conversational practice modules)
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51.ee uththaraM pOstulO veyyaMDi

ee(this) uththaraM(letter) pOstulO(in post) veyyaMDi(drop)’


‘ఈ ఉత్తరం పోస్టులో వెయ్యంఢి’

Please,post this letter!
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52. ‘ee chekkunu vidipiMchukOvaali’

ee((this ) chekkunu(cheque) vidipiMchukOvaali[(to be) encashed)]’

‘ఈ చెక్కును విడిపించుకోవాలి’

This cheque is to be encashed.
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53. ‘naaku traMk kaalu namOdhu/bukku cheyyaMdi.’

naaku((for me) traMk kaalu(trunk call) namOdhu/bukku(book) cheyyaMdi(do sir)’

‘నాకు ట్రంక్ కాలు నమోదు/బుక్కు చెయ్యండి’

Please, book me a trunk call.

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54. ‘emtha dabbu ivvamaMtaaru?’

emtha(how much) dabbu(money) ivvamaMtaaru [(tell me) to give)] ?’

‘ఎంత డబ్బు ఇవ్వమంటారు ?’

Tell me how much money is to be paid ?
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55. ‘iKKadanuMchi bajaaru eMtha dhooramu ?’

iKKadanuMchi(from here) bajaaru(market) eMtha(how) dhooramu(far) ?’

‘ఇక్కడనుంచి బజారు ఎంత దూరము ?’

How far is the market from here?
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56. ‘chaalaa dhooramu'

chaalaa(much)dhooramu(distance).

‘చాలా దూరము'

It is quite a distannce.
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57. ‘taaksi ekkada dhorukuthuMdhi?’

taaksi((Taxi) ekkada(where) dhorukuthuMdhi (available)?’

‘టాక్సి ఎక్కడ దొరుకుతుంది?’

Where can I get a taxi?
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58. ‘adhigO! avathali malupulOnE!'

adhigO(There)! avathali(next) malupulOnE(in turning only)!

‘అదిగో! అవతలి మలుపులోనే!

There!At the next turning only.
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59. ‘taaksee! bajaaruku eMtha theesukoMtaaru?

taaksee(Taxi driver)! bajaaruku(to market) eMtha(how much) theesukoMtaaru[(do you) take)] ?

‘టాక్సీ! బజారుకు ఎంత తీసుకొంటారు?

Taxi driver! How much do you charge to go to market?
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60. ‘iravai roopaayalaMDi!’

iravai((twenty ) roopaayalaMdi(rupees sir) !’

‘ఇరవై రూపాయలండి!’

Twenty rupees sir!
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Office Buzz Words & Phrases for the 21st Century...

TREEWAREHacker
slang for documentation or other printed material.

BLAMESTORMING
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

CHAINSAW CONSULTANT
An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

CUBE FARM
An office filled with cubicles.

MOUSE POTATO
The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

PRAIRIE DOGGING
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

SITCOMs
(Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage) What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STARTER MARRIAGE
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

STRESS PUPPY
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

SWIPED OUT
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

TOURISTS
People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."

XEROX SUBSIDY
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

CHIPS & SALSA
Chips = hardware, Salsa = software. "Well, first we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again. (Try not to dent the case.)

SALMON DAY
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CLM
(Career Limiting Move) Used among microserfs to describe ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.

ADMINISPHERE
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

DILBERTED
To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been Dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."

404
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. "Don't bother asking him ... he's 404, man."
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Monday, March 13, 2006

Woman v Man

Marriage - Part I

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night .......... whether you're here or not."

(DAMM SHE'S GOOD!)
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Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!

The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that
reads: "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

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Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.

After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
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Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
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Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
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Sunday, March 12, 2006

Just 3 Words

This is a true story that happened in Japan.

In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan tear open the wall.
Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls.

When tearing down the walls, he found that there is a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside got stuck into one of its feet. He sees this, feels pity and at the same time curious, as when he check the nail, it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was first built. What happened?

The lizard has survived in such position for 10 years! In a dark wall partition for 10 years, without moving, it is not an easy task. Then he remembered, how this lizard survived for 10 years without moving a single step - the feet was nailed! So he stops the work and observes the lizard, what is it eating?
Later, don't know from where appears another lizard, with food in its mouth...
AHHH! He is stunned. What kind of love is this? For the lizard that was stuck by a nail, another lizard has been feeding it for the past 10 years...

I am touched when I heard this story. And stop wondering the relationship between them: family, friends, lovers, brothers, sisters......

As the technology advances, our access to information became faster and faster. But the distance between the human beings, is it getting closer as well?

RELATIONSHIP BUILDING:

Regularly send handwritten notes to your business clients and your other relations to strengthen the bond. Develop a system which reminds you to send something valuable to this network at least once every four months. Send them postcards when you are away on vacation. If you have to buy a few hundred postcards and spend hour writing, don't worry. This is an exceptionally good investment of your time. Another idea is to send a recent article of interest to your contacts with a hand written note saying that you thought this would interest them and that you continue to value their friendship. Relationship building should always be a central focus whether you are a CEO, a student, a salesperson or a parent.

JUST 3 WORDS

There are many things that you can do to strengthen your relationships.
Often the most effective thing you can do involves saying just three words.
When spoken sincerely, these statements often have the power to develop new
friendships, deepen old ones and even bring healing to relationships that
have soured.
The following three-word phrases can be tools to help develop every relationship.

1. Let me help
Good friends see a need and then try to fill it. When they see a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they jump in and help out.

2. I understand you.
People become closer and enjoy each other more when the other person accepts and understands them. Letting your spouse know - in so many little ways - that
you understand them, is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship. And this can apply to any relationship.

3. I respect youRespect is another way of showing love. Respect demonstrates that another person is a true equal. If you talk to your children as if they were adults you will strengthen the bonds and become closer friends. This applies to all interpersonal relationships.

4. I miss you. Perhaps more marriages could be saved and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved. Consider how important you would feel, if you received an unexpected phone call from
your spouse in the middle of your workday, just to say "I miss you."

5. Maybe you're right.
This phrase is very effective in diffusing an argument. The implication
when you say "maybe you're right" is the humility of admitting, "maybe I'm
wrong". Let's face it. When you have an argument with someone, all you
normally do is solidify the other person's point of view. They, or you,
will not likely change their position and you run the risk of seriously
damaging the relationship between you. Saying "maybe you're right" can
open the door to explore the subject more. You may then have the
opportunity to express your view in a way that is understandable to the
other person.

6. Please forgive meMany broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up that he has been in the wrong, which is saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

7. I thank you.Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily
courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

8. Count on meA friend is one who walks in when others walk out. Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship. It is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those that are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and
true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there indicating "you
can count on me."

9. I'll be thereIf you have ever had to call a friend in the middle of the night, to take a sick child to hospital, or when your car has broken down some miles from home, you will know how good it feels to hear the phrase "I'll be there." Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When
we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and
us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally
and spiritually. Being there is at the very core of civility.

10. Go for itWe are all unique individuals. Don't try to get your friends to conform to your ideals. Support them in pursuing their interests, no matter how far out they seem to you. God has given everyone dreams, dreams that are
unique to that person only. Support and encourage your friends to follow their dreams. Tell them to "go for it."

B o n u s :
11. I love youPerhaps the most important three words that you can say. Telling someone that you truly love them satisfies a person's deepest emotional needs. The need to belong, to feel appreciated and to be wanted. Your spouse, your children, your friends and you, all need to hear those three little words: "I love you." Love is a choice. You can love even when the feeling is gone.
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