World without Engineers:
My SCRAPBOOK (సేకరణలు): A COLLECTION of articles in English and Telugu(తెలుగు), from various sources, on varied subjects. I do not claim credit for any of the contents of these postings as my own.A student's declaration made at the end of his answer paper, holds good to the articles here too:"I hereby declare that the answers written above are true to the best of my friend's knowledge and I claim no responsibility whatsoever of the correctness of the answers."
One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"
A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla up in the tree in his front yard. Not knowing quite what to do, he looks in the yellow pages under "Gorilla Removal Service" and sure enough finds a listing-Harry`s Ape Removal.
(A forward mail)
His performance, talent, character and above all, his loyalty to the Nizam of Hyderabad earned for Francois Raymond several titles.
During the last quarter of the 18th century, an enterprising French adventurer came to India as a merchant, but became a soldier. He was Michael Joachim Marie Raymond. Raymond was born in Gascony in France on March 21, 1755. In 1775, he came to Pondicherry as a merchant. From here he went to Mysore where he joined the army in the service of Hyder Ali.
After the death of Hyder Ali, Raymond moved to Hyderabad and joined the army of Nizam Ali Khan. He improved the condition of the army and his regiment came to be called the “Corps of Francois”.
The Nizam granted him Kadapa as a jagir for maintaining the army. He was also granted a personal jagir yielding Rs. 700,000. Raymond was then appointed Controller of Ordnance or Amir-I-Jinsi.
To provide sufficient arms of good quality, Raymond established a gun foundry. Situated in the heart of the city of Hyderabad, it is now a protected monument.Successful campaigns
In 1970, he fought against Tipu Sultan of Mysore. Four years later, when the Marathas demanded Chowth from the Nizam, Raymond fought against them. The Marathas were led by a French general, Perron.
When Mir Ali Jah, the Nizam revolted against the father and occupied the fort of Bidar in 1795, Raymond successfully led the campaign, captured Bidar and brought the recalcitrant prince back, a prisoner.
For this, the Nizam rewarded Raymond with Medak district as jagir. Raymond died in 1798. Raymond’s performance, talent and character and above all, his loyalty to the Nizam earned him several titles. Adhar-I-Jung (Dragon of Wa rs) Ajdhar-ud-Daulah (Dragon among Nobles), Mutwar-ul-Mulk (Bravest in the State) were some of the titles bestowed on him.
In gratitude to his services, the Nizam built a tomb for Raymond and on the face of the tall obelisk, is studded a marble tablet on which the initials “J.R.” are engraved. The Nizam also ordered for the conduct of an annual “urs” at the tomb in which both Hindus and Muslims participated. The locality where his tomb is in Hyderabad bears his name Mossaram Bagh.
Put about 100 bricks in some
particular order in a closed
room with an
Then send 2 or 3 candidates in
the room and close the door.
Leave them alone and come back
after half an hour and then analyze
the situation of each batch.
If they are counting the
put them in the Accounts
If they are recounting them,
put them in Auditing.
If they have messed up the
whole place with the bricks,
put them in Engineering.
If they are arranging the
bricks in some strange order.
put them in Planning.
If they are throwing the
bricks at each other,
put them in Operations.
If they are sleeping.
put them in Security.
If they have broken the bricks
put them in Information Technology.
If they are sitting idle,
put them in Human Resources.
If they say they have tried
different combinations, yet
not a brick has
been moved. Put them in Sales.
If they have already left for
Put them in Marketing.
If they are staring out of the
put them on Strategic Planning.
And then last but not the least.
If they are talking to each
other and not a single brick
Congratulate them and put them
in Top Management.
(A forward mail)
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న్యూస్టుడే, చెన్నై (Eenaadu,04:06:2007)
Labels: Telugu literature
అబ్బాయో అమ్మాయో పుట్టారన్న సంతోషం వారు పుట్టినప్పుడు కాక ఆ పిల్లలు పెరిగి పెద్దవారై, ప్రయోజకులై మంచిపేరు తెచ్చుకున్నప్పుడే తల్లిదండ్రులకు కలుగుతుందని అనుభవజ్ఞులు చెబుతారు. తమకు సంతానభాగ్యం కలగగానే వారిని జాగ్రత్తగా క్రమశిక్షణతో పెంచి ఎలా వృద్ధిలోకి తీసుకురావాలా అనే తల్లిదండ్రులు నిరంతరం ఆలోచిస్తుంటారు. అందుకోసం ఎన్నో ప్రణాళికలు ఊహల్లో సిద్ధం చేసుకుంటూ ఉంటారు. పిల్లల పెంపకం అంత తేలికైన పనేమీ కాదు. తామొకటి తలిస్తే పిల్లలు మరొకలా తలవటం, తామొకటి చేయమంటే పిల్లలు మరొకటి చేసి తల్లిదండ్రులకు తలనొప్పులు కలిగించటం మామూలే. నయానో, భయానో పిల్లలను మంచిమార్గంలో నడిపించాలని తల్లిదండ్రులు నిత్యం తాపత్రయపడుతూనే ఉంటారు. పిల్లలకు తల్లిదండ్రులకు మధ్య ఇటువంటి మూగ పోరాటాలు అనాదిగా జరుగుతూనే ఉన్నాయి. కృష్ణుడంతటివాడు తన చిలిపి పనులతో, అల్లరితో యశోదను విసిగించినవాడే. ''కలికి నీవు రావె చక్కని కంబుకంఠి రావె, మలయజ గంధి రావే నీవో మదన జనని రావె, ముద్దుగుమ్మ రావే నీవో మోహనాంగిరావే'' అని ఒకర్ని ఒకరు పిల్చుకొంటూ... గోపకాంతలు అంతా కలిసి యశోద దగ్గరకు వచ్చి ''వినవమ్మ యశోదమ్మ నీ వర తనయుడు చేసేటి దుడుకు పనులు, పట్టి విచారించబోతె భారత బాగోతమాయెను ఎట్లనే ఇక ఎట్లనే, యశోదమ్మ ఎట్లనే'' అంటూ ఫిర్యాదు చేస్తారు. కృష్ణుని అల్లరి కట్టించాలని యశోద రకరకాలుగా ప్రయత్నిస్తుంది. రోటికి కట్టివేస్తే ఆ రోలును ఈడ్చుకుపోయి మద్దిచెట్లను కూలుస్తాడు. బండికి కట్టివేస్తే ఆ బండి గుట్టు బయటపెట్టి శకటాసురుణ్ని సంహరిస్తాడు. మన్నుతిన్నావా అని అడిగితే తన నోట్లోనే విశ్వరూప సందర్శనం చేయిస్తాడు. చిన్నికృష్ణుని అల్లరి పనులన్నీ భాగవతంలోని మధుర సుధారస ధారలే. అందుకే అన్నారు దాశరథి- ''అసలు బతుక్కి ఆనందపు పొలిమేర పసితనం కాక మరేముంది చెప్పండి'' అని.
Labels: Life/ children / telugu
The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office.
The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."
"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet." Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Ralph says, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."
Now the auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet. Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between." The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it."(an e-mail forward)