Cute thoughts...Anyway

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"Disorder in the Court."

These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court." These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.The last few autopsy related are ultimate!!!

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
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Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke upthat morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
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Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately mile-post 499.
Q: And where is mile-post 499?
A: Probably between mile-post 498 and 500
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Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
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Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
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Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time? 
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Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls? 
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Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs... did they go up also?
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Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminate?
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 Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female? 
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Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
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Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began theautopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.__________________________________________

Inside Akshardham Temple/Delhi.....................Amazing

Tour the massive mega Akshardham Temple Complex near Noida in East Delhi, India and explore an amazing world of Indian culture, ornate with 20, 000 statues, floral motifs, arches and exquisitely carved pillars. The magnificent Akshardham Temple in Delhi has been constructed under the patronage of the Bochasanvasi Aksharpurushottam Swaminarayan Sanstha (BAPS) and was inaugurated on November 7, 2005. The inaugural ceremony was attended by President APJ Abdul Kalam and the temple was formally inaugurated by Pramukhswami Maharaj who leads the BAPS. The temple complex in the national capital promises a unique glimpse of the Hindu religion and Indian culture. The Akshardham temple complex has been built on the banks of the serene River Yamuna and lies over a sprawling 100 acres of lush manicured lawns adorned with water fountains and carved pavilions. A whopping 2 billion was spent on the construction of this grand place of worship that took about 2 years to build. An IMAX theatre, a Swaminarayan temple and an elaborate musical fountain accessorize the massive Akshardham temple complex in Delhi, India. The architectural style is an imitation of the Akshardham temple in Gandhinagar, Gujarat, India. The theme halls, exhibiting tableaux, depict legends and stories that glorify non-violence and vegetarianism. The main monument at the Akshardham temple in Delhi is about 141-foot high and houses a lovely statue of Lord Swaminarayan.
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AN OPEN LETTER TO ARJUN SINGH! (under circulation in the net)

Dear Arjun,
(Hoping you dont mind me calling you Arjun, it just seems that I know you so well)

I totally agree with your reservations proposal. All those morons striking against it were rightly beaten-up. Fools. Don't they know the benefit reservations have heaped onto India? The reservations in thelast 50 years in jobs, colleges, schools, etc have allowed thousands of bureaucrats to make tons of money on bribes for admission and have allowed lakhs of incompetents to take admission in top colleges or government jobs.More so, it has allowed companies and the government to be equally incompetent, leveling the playing field for all. Reservations have thus totally allowed India to practice socialism in its most finest form.Ignore these ignorant young minds, Arjun, you are on the right path.We will take India to the 17th century in style and people will thank you for it one day.

I realize however that you are facing considerable opposition to this wonderful concept. Thought I might be of some help. Leading the reservations charge, I think if you set an example and highlighted the benefits of reservations, it could easily turn the tide around.I think you should strongly consider reservations in the Cabinet.I have taken the trouble to provide a percentage breakdown for you, so you can simply focus on the marketing of the idea. I have taken a lot of trouble to study the demographics of India and have ensured that all minorities are given their due rights. Feel free to suggest anychanges or additions, just in case I have forgotten any minorities.

SC/ST: 8%
OBC: 12.4%
Muslims: 13.98%
Parsees: 1.23%
Buddhists: 0.0045%
Jains: 0.94%
Auto drivers: 6.25%
Sikhs: 2.4%
Kashmiri Pandits: 1.02%
Tribals: 2% (I realize they are formidable votebank, but I figured we can just tell them that their share is 20%. We have been conning themfor so many years, they wont know any better)
Filmstars: 9.8%
Govt employees with more than 38 years of service: 5.9%
Teenagers: 1% (we have to represent the youth)
Anyone having lived in the north-east for more than 1 year: 0.0005%(again, we have been screwing the north-east for so along withoutreally facing much trouble. I dont see why we should bother about themtoo much. We can lie to them as well and tell them their share in theCabinet is 50%)
Wives of farmers who have committed suicide: 12% (this is good one, isnt it?)
Anyone having completed 40 years or more in the military: 1% (figuredwe should learn from our neighbours)
Dance bar girls: 14% (we have to rehabilitate them, now dont we?)
Anyone who has been displaced by the Narmada Dam: 0.00000023% (hahaha,another group we can really screw over, yet pretend like we are tryingto help them)
Ex-convicts: 40%

I think that should cover almost all key minorities of India. Like I said, if there are any in your constituency that you would like to add, I'm sure it should not be a problem, after all you are the HRD minister and your boss does not have the gall to say anything about the whole reservations controversy.

I will call you this weekend, my cousin needs admission at this medical college in Poone. He got 46% in his 12th exams. Poor boy was too distracted. Hope you can find me a seat.

Thanks dude....

An Indian
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TWO TOUGH QUESTIONS

Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you
recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the answer
for this one.

Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates.

Candidate A -
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two Mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B -
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C -
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be your Choice?
----------------------------------------------


Candidate A: is Franklin D. Roosevelt.


Candidate B: is Winston Churchill.


Candidate C: is Adolph Hitler.


And, by the way, the answer to the abortion question: If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.
Never be afraid to try something new.
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Isn't it incredible!!

Here are two pics of an amazing piece of art. Location: Tata Museum ,Jamshedpur . In the first pic, you can see a painting. This was a gift to JRD Tata on his Birthday by a street artist. Nobody was able to understand his art. Unfortunately, only the painting was given to JRD and the artist had promised to reveal the secret shortly . However, JRD was no more when the secret was actually revealed .


See Down For Secret!!!!
Here's the secret revealed. When you place a steel rod at the circle in the first pic you saw, you will see the image of the JRD Tata as a reflection on the steel rod as seen in the pics below. Isn't it incredible!!



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ఏకాక్షరంతో మనవాళ్ళు చేసిన పద ప్రయోగాలు కొన్ని....

[Thyaga R S Annambhotla గారి "నా తెలుగు రాతలు!" (http://diversityintelugu.blogspot.com/) లో 'ఏకాక్షరంతో మనవాళ్ళు చేసిన పద ప్రయోగాలు కొన్ని' చూసిన తరువాత ఇది ఇక్కడ చేర్చడం జరిగింది.]

క.నేనెన్నెన్నో నిన్న
న్నానని, నీనాననానినానని, నన్నో
నానీ! నిన్నూనిననను
నౌ, నౌ, నననీన నిన్ను నన్నౌనెన్నన్.
(కవిరాజు సంబర సూర్యనారాయణ శాస్త్రి-"తిమ్మరుసు మంత్రి")

ఓ నానీ! నేను; నిన్ను= నిను గురించి,
ఎన్నెన్నో=ఎన్నియో మాటలు,
అన్నానని= అంటిననియు,
నీనాన= నీ సిగ్గును,
నానినానని= పోగొట్టితిననియు,నిన్ను;
ఊనిన= నమ్మియున్న,
నను= నన్ను,
నన= పువ్వు, ఈన= వికసించినట్లు,
నౌనౌ= నవ్వు నవ్వు,
నిన్ను, నన్ను= మనలనిద్దఱను (అపుడు),ఎన్నన్ ఔను= పొగడదగును.
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