Driving Ishtyles..

One hand on steering wheel, one hand out of window —

Sydney

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on horn —

Japan

One hand on steering wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on

accelerator —

Boston

Both hands on steering wheel, eyes

shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror —

New York

Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat

— Italy….

One hand on horn,

One hand greeting,

One ear on cell phone,

Foot on accelerator,

Eyes on female pedestrians,

Conversation

with someone

in the next car —

Welcome to India

(Source: The Internet)

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Some watch, this!

A man is waiting at a railway station for his train that leaves at 6 p.m., but he has forgotten his watch.

So, he looks around to ask someone the time. He spots a guy carrying two suitcases and sporting this fabulous hi-tech watch, so he asks him for the time.

The guy replies, “Sure, which country?”

The man asks, “How many countries have you got?” To which the guy replies: “All the countries in the world!”

“Wow! That’s a pretty cool watch you’ve got there,.” says the man.

“That’s nothing,” the guy says. “This watch also has a GPS facility, fax, e-mail and can even receive NTSC television channels and display them on its miniature active colour pixel LCD screen!”

“Boy, that’s incredible. I wish I had a watch like that. You wouldn’t consider selling it by any chance, would you?” says the man.

“Well, actually the novelty has worn off for me, so for $900, if you want it, it’s yours,” says the guy.

The watchless traveller whips out his checkbook and gives out a cheque for the amount, and gets the watch.

“Congratulations! Here’s your new hi-tech watch,” says the guy, and hands over the two suitcases to the unsuspecting man.

“What are these?” he asks. “The batteries for the watch!”

(From the Internet)
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Just joking-Marriage

Here’s my order

Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends.

You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

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Wrong choice?

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”

The other replied, ‘Yes I am, I married the wrong man.”

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Real joy

Then there was a man who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.”

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When a newly married man looks happy, we know why.

But when a man who is married for ten years looks happy - we wonder why.

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Married life

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.

In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.

In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

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After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” And the husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice it.”

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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in most countries, son.

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Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

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True love

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with. If it just sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats your food, uses your telephone, takes your money, and never behaves as if you actually set it free in the first place,

you either married it or gave birth to it!

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First kiss

At the end of their first date, a young man takes the girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to kiss her. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall, smiles and says to her, “Darling, how about a goodnight kiss?”

Horrified, she replies, “Are you mad? My parents will see us!”

“Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?”

“No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”

“Oh come on, there’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!"

“No, no. I just can’t.”

“Pleeeeease?...”

Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl’s sister shows up in her pajamas.

In a sleepy voice the sister says: “Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he’ll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!”

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The gift

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for my birthday. What do you think it means?”

“You’ll know tonight.” he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.

Delighted, she opened it to find a book titled The Meaning of Dreams.

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The dinner

“Honey,” said this husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.”

“What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking fancy meal!”

“I know all that.”

“Then why did you invite a friend for supper?”

“Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”

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(Source: The Internet)

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Ticket please

A commuter on the train was looking for his ticket. He was searching with great frenzy, much to the amusement of the other passengers, who could see that he had the ticket in his mouth. The conductor snatched the paper and punched it.

Later, the commuter’s companion said, “I bet you feel pretty stupid sitting there looking everywhere for your ticket when it was right in your mouth.”

“Why stupid?” replied the commuter. “I was chewing the date off.”

Source: Internet

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She won’t get angry

Here’s a good way to describe women without them getting your goat.

She is not a bad cook - She is microwave compatible.

She does not wear too much jewellery - She is metallically overburdened.

She is not conceited - She is intimately aware of her best qualities.

She does not gain weight - She is a metabolic underachiever.

She is not too skinny - She is skeletally prominent.

She does not have a moustache - She is in touch with her masculine side.

She does not hate televised sports - She is athletically ignorant.

She does not wear too much perfume - She commits fragrance abuse.

She does not go shopping - She is mall fluent.

She does not wear too much makeup - She has reached cosmetic saturation.

She does not nag you - She becomes verbally repetitive.

(Source: Internet)