Saturday, May 30, 2015
2054- The temple
Friday, May 29, 2015
2053- Ram or Ravan?
Mother:- Like whom?
Mother:- What the hell are you saying? Are you out of your mind?
Daughter:- Why not Mom? He left all his Royalship & Kingdom, all because his sister was disrespected.
Even after picking up his enemy’s wife, he didn’t ever touch her. Why wouldn’t I want to have a brother like him?
What would I do with a brother like Ram who left his pregnant wife after listening to a “Dhobi” though his wife always stood by his side like a shadow? After giving “Agni Pareeksha” & suffering 14 years of exile.
Mom, you being a wife & sister to someone, until when will you keep on asking for a “RAM” as your son???
Mother was in tears.
Moral:- No one in the world is good or bad. Its just an interpretation about someone. Change Ur perception.
2051- "One of the most deadliest letters ever written. Straight from the stomach."
Date: 02 - 07 - 1909
Divisional Railway Officer,
I am arrive by passenger train Ahmedpur station and my belly is too much swelling with jackfruit. I am therefore went to privy. Just I doing the nuisance that guard making whistle blow or train to go off and I am running with lotaah in one hand and dhoti in the next when I am fall over and expose all my shocking to man and female women on platform. I am got leaved at Ahmedpur station. This too much bad, if passenger go to make dung that dam guard not wait train five minutes for him. I am therefore pray your honour to make big fine on that guard for public sake. Otherwise I am making big report to papers.
Your faithful Servant,
Okhil Chandra Sen.
Okhil Babu wrote this letter to the Sahibgunj Divisional Railway Officer in 1909. It is on display at the Railway Museum in New Delhi. It was also reproduced under the caption "Travellers Tales" in the Far Eastern Economic Review.
Any guesses why this letter is of Historic Value?
It led to the introduction of TOILETS in trains in India...!!!
So no idea is stupid and always speak up...
(Howsoever bad or good you may be at any language). ✌😜⚡
2050- Good poem... Worth sharing!
Nepal hila, Hindustan hila aur hil gaya Pakistan..
Na Jesus aaye na Allah aye kaha gaye bhagwan...??
Hai kaun Hindu, kaun Sikh, kaun hai Musalman...
Prakrati ke aage bebas hai har insaan....
Hai samaan sab uski nazar me....
Yaha nahi chalta Bible na Ved na Quran...
Mat ulajh is pakhand mei...
Ab to jaag ja ae murkh insaan....
Naaz bahut tha apni tarakki pe sabhi logo ko...
Kudrat Ki ek jhapki ne aukaat bata di...
Na Hindu dikha, na Musalmaan dikha...
Bhagta hua sirf insaan dikha....!
2048- Jest a minute!
Sexy secretary comes angrily out of Boss's cabin.. ♨
He asked me r u free tonight? 😜
I said yes !
Bastard gave me 60 pages to type!!!
Shocking Introduction at a party...
One man to another ..
Meet my wife tanya ..
2nd one : ya, I know her.
1st one : how..?
2nd one : we were caught many a times sleeping together.
1st one : Wat??? Angrily.. What the hell u r talking..??
2nd one : during lectures in science & history classes.
We were classmates.😜😜😝
Police: R u married?
Sardar: Yes, with a woman.
Sardar: Yes, my sister did....!!!😁😂😜😀
--Signboard outside a..
For you it may be your Urine & Potty...
for us, it is our Dal & Roti...!!!
One day I asked my Heart......
What is love ?
Dekh bhai apna kaam blood supply karna hai...! syllabus ke baahar ka mat pucch.....😝😝😝😝😜😜😜😂.
A Safety warning notice in a factory for female workers:
"If your skirt is long, stay away from the engines
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;
If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings — nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And — which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!
2046- Rahul or Vijaykant, ,it doesn't matter, as long as we smile at it!
✨Vijaykanth is back😃😃😃
Vijaykanth went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C.
After seeing the Form he went to Delhi for filling it up.
You know why?
Form said: 'Fill Up In Capital.'
Vijaykanth standing below a tube light with open mouth.
Because his doctor advised him: 'Today's dinner should be light !'
On romantic date vijaykanth's fiancee asks him:
'Darling ! On our engagement will you give me a ring?'
He said: 'Sure ! What's your phone no.?'
Vijaykanth found the answer to the most difficult question ever.
What will come first, chicken or egg?
what ever u order first will come first.
Teacher told all students to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except vijaykanth
He wrote:'Due To Rain, No Match!'
What does vijaykanth do after taking a Xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling mistakes.
Vijaykanth & wife buy coffee in a shop.
Vijaykanth: Drink quickly before it gets cold.
Vijaykanth: Hot coffee $5 and cold coffee $10.
Manager asked vijaykanth at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Vijaykanth replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.
After returning back from a foreign trip, vijaykanthasked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Vijaykanth: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?
Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
Vijaykanth writes, "Gandhi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.
Interviewer: just imagine you are on the3rd floor, it caught fire
and how will you escape?
Vijaykanth: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!
Vijaykanth: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: sir, just dial 123to know current bill status
Vijaykanth: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.
Friend: I got a brand new Ford IKON for my wife!
Vijaykanth: Wow!!! That's an unbelievable exchange offer!!!
Teacher: "What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?"
Vijaykanth: "All are born on government holidays...!
2044- Meals or...
Doctor to female patient :- U r looking so weak & exhausted... R u taking 3 meals a day as I had advised u ?
female patient :- "uski maa ki“..
Where is Your compounder who typed 3 Males a day.!...😂😂😂
2043- International scientific Question :
2042- long tongue
Doctor: "What happened?
Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes
home drunk he beats me senseless.
Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just drink some water and hold it in your mouth. hold it in but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is asleep.
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I kept the water in my mouth. Held it in till he sleeps, and he didn't touch me!"
Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps".
Ye joke banane wale ko 21 topo ki salami....😂😂😂
2040- Husband and wife
Thanks for making my life wonderful and being a part of my life. What ever I am is only because of u, u r my angel thanks for coming into my life and making it worth living.
Husband: Thank you.I am outside, please open the door!!😜
Rahul called up Dominos Pizza and shouted at the branch manager, "You idiot, I just received delivery of pizza from your boy and there's nothing on it!! No cheese, no toppings, nothing - it's just a circle of plain bread! What the hell is wrong with you guys? I am gonna close you guys down permanently and get you personally arrested!!!"
10 mins later Rahul's mother calls back Dominos and apologises to the manager, "Sorry, he opened the box upside down!"
You may be down at the moment, but you don’t need to stay there.
Through persistence, a positive attitude, hard work and innovative ideas, you can come up out of the water. Dripping wet and smiling!"
2032- Wife jokes!
A bus full of housewives going on a picnic ,
fell into a river ,all died .
Each husband cried for a week ,
one husband continued for more than two weeks !!!
When asked that did he miss his wife so much ?
the bus !!!
If Flipkart starts matrimonial services 👬, they will become the No.1 site in the world 🌎 because they have a 30 day return 💫policy no questions asked
KEEP LAUGHING !
A Chinese man married an African woman and had a child. Two months later the child passed away.
A family member pulled her aside and asked:
"What did you know?" She replied: "That, Chinese products don't last long.
Pharmacist to customer:
'Sir please understand, to buy a anti depression pill you need a proper prescription... Simply showing wife's picture is not enough.'
Thursday, May 28, 2015
2031- Very touching story .. Hameed is Hameed!
Once upon a time ..a small boy named Hameed lived in a tiny Moroccan village. All his classmates hated him for his stupidity especially his teacher who was always yelling at him "you are driving me crazy Hameed" ..one day his mother went to check out how he is doing at school and the teacher told her honestly that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her whole career...the mother could not accept such a feed back and she took her son out from that school. she even shifted to another city ...
left with no other choice she did it and the surgery was successful ...when she opened her eyes ,she saw a handsome doctor smiling to her, being under anesthesia effect, she wanted to thank him but could not talk, in turn, he was staring at her face which started turning blue, she was raising her hand trying to tell him some thing but in vain and eventually died...
the doctor was shocked and was trying to understand what just happened, till he turned back and saw our friend Hameed working as a cleaner in that hospital who unplugged the ventilator to connect his vacuum cleaner......
If you were thinking that Hameed became a doctor, its because you have been watching too many Indian movies, serials or have been read too many motivational foward messages...😂
Hameed is Hameed. 😆
2026- 10 TYPES of PURIFICATIONS
1. Body gets purified…
by WATER & EXERCISE
3. Mind gets purified…
4. Intellect gets purified…
5. Memory gets purified…
by MANAN & CHINTAN
6. Ego gets purified…
by SEVA (SERVICE)
7. Self gets purified…
by SILENCE (MAUN)
8. Food gets purified…
by POSITIVE THOUGHTS WHILE COOKING & EATING
9. Wealth gets purified…
10. Bhav (feelings) gets purified …
2025- Indian army
The Chief of the terrorists told them he'd grant each of them
one last request before they were beheaded in front of a Camera.
The Chief nodded to an underling who left and returned with the Kahwa. The Kashmiri Separatist drank it all and said, 'Now I can die content.'
Now the Chief turned towards the News-reporter and repeated the same question - "What is your last wish before you die?"
The News-reporter said - "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my Camcorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen.
Maybe, someday, someone will watch it and know the Truth.
The Chief directed an aide to hand over the Camcorder and the reporter dictated her comments.
She then said, "Now I can die happy.."
The Chief turned to the Commando and asked - "And now, Army Dog, what is your final wish?"
'Punch me hard,' said the Para-Commando.
"What?" - asked the Chief, surprised a bit- " You dare to mock us? "
"No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to punch me as hard as you can' insisted the Para-Commando.
"With pleasure" - replied the Terrorists' Chief, grinning from face to face.
The Terrorists' Chief then punches the Commando so hard that he falls back a couple of feet on his back.
But as the Commando touches the ground, he rolls over, pulls a 9 mm Silenced pistol hidden in his boots and shoots the Chief dead.
In the resulting confusion, he emptied his Pistol on six terrorists, then with his knife he slashed the throat of one, and with an AK-47, which he took from one of the already dead terrorists, sprayed the rest of the terrorists killing the remainder.
In a flash, all of the Terrorists including their Chief, were dead.
As the soldier was untying the Kashmiri Separatist and the reporter, they asked him - 'Why didn't you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to punch him?
'Because' replied the soldier, 'if I had fired the First Shot, you two would have reported that I was the aggressor and the root cause of all the blood shedding in Kashmir !!'
2023- A very beautiful message... “Divinity lies within us all"
- According to an old Hindu legend, there was a time when all human beings were gods, but they abused their divinity.
So, Brahma, the chief God, decided to take the divinity away from them and hide it somewhere they could never find it.
“Let’s bury it deep in the earth,” said the gods. But Brahma answered, “Humans will dig into the earth and find it.”
Some gods suggested, “Let’s sink it in the deepest ocean.” But Brahma said, “No, Human will learn to dive into the ocean and will find it.”
Then some gods suggested, “Let’s take it to the top of the highest mountain and hide it there.”
Brahma replied, “Human will eventually climb every mountain and take up their divinity.”
Then all the gods gave up and said, “We do not know where to hide it, because it
seems that there is no place on earth or ocean that human beings will not eventually reach.”
Brahma thought for a long time said, “We will hide their divinity deep into the center of their own being, Humans will search for it here and there but they wont look for the divinity inside their true selves”
All the gods agreed that this was the perfect hiding place, and the deed was do
And since then, humans have been going up and down the earth, digging, diving, climbing, and exploring, searching for something, which already lies within themselves.
“Divinity lies within us all"...😇
2022- The Writer's Journey: Mythic Structure For Writers (2007)
It is a popular screenwriting textbook by writer Christopher Vogler, focusing on the theory that most stories can be boiled down to a series of narrative structures and character archetypes, described through mythological allegory. Vogler based this work upon the writings of mythologist Joseph Campbell, particularly 'The Hero with a Thousand Faces', and holds that all successful films innately adhere to its principles. The book was very well received upon its release, and is often featured in recommended reading lists for student screenwriters.
The first part of the book describes eight major character archetypes in detail. Those are:
(1)Hero- someone who is willing to sacrifice his own needs on behalf of others
(2)Mentor- all the characters who teach and protect heroes and give them gifts
(3)Threshold Guardian- a menacing face to the hero, but if understood, they can be overcome
(4)Herald- a force that brings a new challenge to the hero
(5)Shapeshifter- characters who change constantly from the hero's point of view
(6)Shadow- character who represents the energy of the dark side
(7)Ally- someone who travels with the hero through the journey, serving variety of functions
(8)Trickster- embodies the energies of mischief and desire for change
Stages of the Journey:
The second part describes the twelve stages of the Hero's journey. The stages are:
(1)The Ordinary World- the hero is seen in his/her everyday life
(2)The Call to Adventure- the initiating incident of the story
(3)Refusal of the Call- the hero experiences some hesitation to answer the call
(4)Meeting with the Mentor- the hero gains the supplies, knowledge, and confidence needed to commence the adventure
(5)Crossing the First Threshold- the hero commits wholeheartedly to the adventure
(6)Tests, Allies and Enemies- the hero explores the special world, faces trial, and makes friends and enemies
(7)Approach to the Innermost Cave- the hero nears the center of the story and the special world
(8)The Ordeal- the hero faces the greatest challenge yet and experiences death and rebirth
(9)Reward- the hero experiences the consequences of surviving death
(10)The Road Back- the hero returns to the ordinary world or continues to an ultimate destination
(11)The Resurrection- the hero experiences a final moment of death and rebirth so they are pure when they reenter the ordinary world
(12)Return with the Elixir- the hero returns with something to improve the ordinary world
2021- God is a metaphor
"God is a metaphor for a mystery that absolutely transcends all human categories of thought, even the categories of being and non-being. Those are categories of thought. I mean it's as simple as that. So it depends on how much you want to think about it. Whether it's doing you any good. Whether it is putting you in touch with the mystery that's the ground of your own being. If it isn't, well, it's a lie. So half the people in the world are religious people who think that their metaphors are facts. Those are what we call theists. The other half are people who know that the metaphors are not facts. And so, they're lies. Those are the atheists."
2018- 3 is better than 6
2017- Punjabi Matrimonial ad:
AGE no Bar,
WEIGHT no Bar,
LOOKS no Bar,
CASTE no Bar,
Education no Bar.
But girl's father must have his own "BAR"..😜😂😎
Finally I have found my true love!! It happens to be my "weight".....
Inspite of letting it go and setting it free.....
It keeps coming back to me❤❤
A Pathaan to an AirHostess:
"Vallah.. Tumhara shakal Humara BB Se milti!"
"Bakwas band kar kamine!"
"MashaALLAH! Zubaan b Milti!"