My SCRAPBOOK (సేకరణలు): A COLLECTION of articles in English and Telugu(తెలుగు), from various sources, on varied subjects. I do not claim credit for any of the contents of these postings as my own.A student's declaration made at the end of his answer paper, holds good to the articles here too:"I hereby declare that the answers written above are true to the best of my friend's knowledge and I claim no responsibility whatsoever of the correctness of the answers."

Monday, April 17, 2006


One day an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, he used this illustration. As he stood in front of the group of high-powered overachievers he said, “Okay, time for a quiz.” Then he pulled out a one-gallon wide-mouthed masonry jar and set it on the table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would inside, he asked, “Is the jar full?” everyone in the class said “yes.” Then he said, “Really?”
He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel in and shook the jar causing 20 pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the space between the big rocks. Then he asked the group once more, “Is the jar full?” By this time the class was on to him. “Probably not”. One of them answered. “Good!” he replied.
He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, “Is the jar full?” “No!” the class shouted. Once again he said “Good”.
Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, “What is the point of this illustration?”
One eager beaver raised his hand and said, “The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it!”
“No!” the speaker replied, “That’s not the point”
The truth this illustration teaches us is, “If you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all.” What are the “big rocks” in your life? Your children; your loved ones; your education; your dreams; a worthy cause; teaching or mentoring others; doing things which you love; time for yourself; your health; your mate (or significant other). Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you will never get them in at all. If you sweat about the little stuff(the gravel, sand & water) then you will fill your life with little things you worry about that don’t really matter, and you’ll never have the real quality time you need to spend on the big important stuff.
So tonight, or in the morning, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question: What are the “big rocks” in my life? Then put them in your jar first.



Sunday, April 16, 2006

9 Corporate Lessons

Corporate Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel,"
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
"Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Corporate Lesson 2:
A priest offered a lift to a Nun.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
On his arrival, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Corporate Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone.
"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

Corporate Lesson 4:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,
"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Corporate Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after! a fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullsht might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Corporate Lesson 6
A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thingwork?" "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."
Moral of the story: - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows everything.

Corporate Lesson 7
A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to theteller at the window:"I want to open a damn checking account." To which the astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open a damn checking account right now!" "I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank." Having said this, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her problem customer. They both return and the manager asks the old geezer: "What seems to be the problem here?" "There's no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says. "I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!" "I see," says the manager thoughtfully. "And you're saying that this bitch here is giving you a hard time?"
Moral of the story: If you are RICH, you can get away withalmost anything.

Corporate Lesson8-
An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA when the American turned to the Japanese and asked, "What kind of ese are you?" Confused, the Japanese replied, "Sorry but I don'tunderstand what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of -ese are you?" Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese areyou...Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, etc...?" The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I am a Japanese." A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of 'key' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of '-key' am I?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?"
Moral of the story: Never insult anyone.

Corporate Lesson 9
There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, a British and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of thebottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will cometrue." The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, “VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka.The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is the British. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, SHIT!!!!!!!"
Moral of the story: Think twice before you say something,because sometimes what you say accidentally does happen.



Train ruki...
Khidki khuli..
Nazarein mili.. Usne kaha.
Chai. Chai.Garam Chai..

Jab Jab gire Baadal,
Teri Yaad aayiJhoom ke barsa Saawan,
Teri Yaad aayiBheega main,
lekin phir bhi teri Yaad aayiKyon na aaye teri yaad?
tune jo chatri ab tak nahi lautai...

Na woh inkaar karti hai
Na woh ikraar karti hai
KAMBAKHT mere hi sapno mein aakar
mere dost se pyaar karti hai

Maine poocha chand se ki
dekha hai kahin mere yaar sa hasin...
chand ne kaha..
Ullu ke pathe.. itni upar se dikhta hai kya koi???

Unki gali ke chakkar kaat kaat kar,
Kutte bhi hamare yaar ho gaye,
Wo to hamare ho na sake,
Hum kutton ke pyarey ho gaye...

Lal diwar par chune se likha tha ghalib ne
Lal diwar par chune se likha tha ghalib ne
Yahan likhana mana hai.

Khuda se Scooter manga.. Car di;
Apartment manga.. bangla diya;
dost manga to tumhain diya..
Khuda ne is bar aisa zulm kyoun kiya

Ghoonghat me tujhe dekha to.....
Deewana huaSangeet ka
taraana huaShamaa ka parwana hua
Masti me mastaana hua....
Par jaise hi ghoonghat uthaaya to ...
Is duniya se ravaana hua

Door se dekha to haseena bula rahi thee..
paas jaa ker dekha to
bhains sir hila rahi thee

Jab dekha unhone tirchhi nazar se,
to hum madhosh ho gaye,
Par jab pata chala ki
nazare hi tirchhi hai,
to hum behosh ho gaye...


Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain
Jo bhii kaho ge merii dukaan per wo paogemaine
kahaa ki kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai
bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaoge!!!!:?

yE Khuda, Ishq kar, khud ko jala ke dikha,
Phir ye duniya chala ke dikha
Baadal, bijli, toofan, bahut nacha liye
Kabhi kisi haseena ke dil ko hila ke dekha?