2053- Ram or Ravan?

A pregnant mother asked her daughter, “What do u want- A brother or a sister?“
Daughter:- Brother
Mother:- Like whom?

Daughter:- Like RAVAN
Mother:- What the hell are you saying? Are you out of your mind?
Daughter:- Why not Mom? He left all his Royalship & Kingdom, all because his sister was disrespected.
Even after picking up his enemy’s wife, he didn’t ever touch her. Why wouldn’t I want to have a brother like him?
What would I do with a brother like Ram who left his pregnant wife after listening to a “Dhobi” though his wife always stood by his side like a shadow? After giving “Agni Pareeksha” & suffering 14 years of exile.
Mom, you being a wife & sister to someone, until when will you keep on asking for a “RAM” as your son???
Mother was in tears.
Moral:- No one in the world is good or bad. Its just an interpretation about someone. Change Ur perception.
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2047- "If”

Rudyard Kipling
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If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;
If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings — nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And — which is more — you’ll be a Man, my son!
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2042- long tongue

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten Black and Blue.
Doctor: "What happened?
Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes
home drunk he beats me senseless.
Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just drink some water and hold it in your mouth. hold it in but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is asleep.
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I kept the water in my mouth. Held it in till he sleeps, and he didn't touch me!"
Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps".
Ye joke banane wale ko 21 topo ki salami....😂😂😂
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2040- Husband and wife

Husband sent n sms to Wife:
Thanks for making my life wonderful and being a part of my life. What ever I am is only because of u, u r my angel thanks for coming into my life and making it worth living.
You're Great.

SHE REPLIED : Have u finished drinking? now stop messaging , keep your mouth shut & come home, don't get scared , I will not shout at you... Come home fast
Husband: Thank you.I am outside, please open the door!!😜
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1913- THE MOTHER OF ALL ADDICTIONS

Joeanna Rebello
Mar 08 2015 : The Times of India (Chennai)





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If Uncoupling Your Teenage Son From Facebook Was A Challenge, Good Luck With Your Old Folks

Three years ago Prathap Krishnan gave his 70-year-old mother a crash course in social media. He taught her to use Facebook, showed her how to look for old classmates and third cousins, cautioned her against approving Friend requests from strangers and warned her against revealing personal information online.Krishnan now wonders how he can wean his mother off it. “She's like a teenager with an X-box,“ he complains. “Earlier, she'd reach for her wristwatch first thing in the morning; she now reaches for her smartphone. She takes her phone everywhere, on evening walks, to yoga class, the kitchen and even the bathroom ­ not because she's expecting an important call, but because she needs to be the first to comment on what her friends are thinking eating experiencing...on Facebook.“
By the late-2000s, even the most suspicious of 60-year-olds wanted to know how to upload a profile picture. Social institutions held introductory classes to social media for senior citizens, and children boasted of the tech-savviness of their old folks. “My father's my Facebook friend“ they'd say , to show the family was up to snuff. Now they're out hunting for virgin virtual spaces that haven't yet been discovered and conquered by their mummys and daddys who unwittingly post such praise as `Well done son' when the man brags he scored last night.
“My mother blocked my sister, my wife and me from her FB group two years ago because she felt we were policing her...which we were,“ reports Tapan Durga, who incidentally works in digital media. “My mother joined FB in 2008 and in the early years, lacking all social filters she'd accept any friend request and even hand out our telephone number to some. After fielding a few dodgy calls and discovering romantic overtures made to her by a shady man (sending her flower emojis), I had to watch her back. She has learnt the ways of social media now and even founded and administers a 40-member group on FB, all of them over 55 years. They went on a holiday to Shimla recently , and she even invited a few to my wedding; I was baffled to see strangers around.Her friends call her the FB Dj because she sends out a link to a Hindi film song every morning,“ says Durga who got his mother a smartphone a few years ago to relieve her of the laptop she'd lug everywhere to stay connected.
While most of them have taken to social media like Snoop Dogg to Instagram, some have teething trouble. “My 78-year-old mom, Seema, tried posting something on Facebook some time back,“ recalls Saba Mirza, a homemaker in Mumbai, “She wrote it but forgot to post it, and for the next half hour ranted about how slow our MTNL Wifi was,“ laughs Mirza, whose mother initially had her daughter greenflag her posts before she hit Go. “On another occasion, looking at the FB prompt `people you may know', she wondered aloud “How do so many people know I'm on Facebook!“ Mirza recently got her mother a selfie stick and is showing her how to use it. Reginald Fernandes, a 72-year-old picture buff, still uses his phone to shoot and post images.“I usually post around a dozen images a day on my Whatsapp group, though I'm still a bit puzzled by Instagram. I sometimes forget the device is a phone and call it my camera. My 40-year-old son who lives with me, has unfortunately left my Whatsapp group. He complains I take up too much room on his phone. I've advised him to get an upgrade.“
All names have been changed to protect family relations

1757- Phones, then and now

1711- 25 Awesome tips for an amazing life!

1. When you wake up in the morning, Pray to ask God’s guidance for your purpose, today.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. & while you walk, SMILE. It is the ultimate antidepressant.
4. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.
6.Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
7. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
8. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
9. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
10.Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
11. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything !
12. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
13. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
14. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
16. What other people think of you is none of your business.
17. Help the needy,Be generous ! Be a ‘Giver’ not a ‘Taker’
18. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’
19. Time heals everything.
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
21. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
23. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
24. Each night before you go to bed ,Pray to God and Be thankful for what you’ll accomplish, today !
25.Share this to everyone on your list to help them lead a happier life…!!!!
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1692- Love aaj kal!

1683- Facebook is a family book

1667- Importance of grand parents!

1638- 1000 MARBLES

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The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.
A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the backyard patio with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning, turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it.
I turned the dial up to listen to a Saturday morning talk show I heard an older sounding gentleman, with a golden voice. You know the kind, he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whoever he was talking with something about "a thousand marbles".
I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say...
"Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. Too bad you missed your daughter's dance recital."
He continued, “Let me tell you something Tom, something that has helped me keep a good perspective on my own priorities."
And that's when he began to explain his theory of a "thousand marbles." "You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years."
"Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900 which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime.
Now stick with me Tom, I'm getting to the important part."
"It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail", he went on, "and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy."
"So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round-up 1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside of a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear. Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away."
"I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life. There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight."
"Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time."
"It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again.
You could have heard a pin drop on the radio when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about.
I had planned to work that morning. Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. "C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast."
"What brought this on?" she asked with a smile. "Oh, nothing special, it's just been a while since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. Hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles."
(Source: Anonymous – email of mid 90’s.)

!609- WHAT ARE GRANDPARENTS?

(Taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds) You'll love it:
Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of their own. They like other people's.
A grandfather is a man, & a grandmother is a lady!
Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.
When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.
They show us and talk to us about the colors of the flowers and also why we shouldn't step on 'cracks.'
They don't say, 'Hurry up.'
Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.
They wear glasses and funny underwear.
They can take their teeth and gums out.
Grandparents don't have to be smart.
They have to answer questions like 'Why isn't God married?' and 'How come dogs chase cats?'
When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.
Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us..
They know we should have snack time before bed time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we've acted bad.
A 6-YEAR-OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED. ''OH,'' HE SAID, ''SHE LIVES AT THE AIRPORT, AND WHEN WE WANT HER, WE JUST GO GET HER. THEN WHEN WE'RE DONE HAVING HER VISIT, WE TAKE HER BACK TO THE AIRPORT.''
GRANDPA IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE TEACHES ME GOOD THINGS, BUT I DON'T GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS SMART AS HIM!
It's funny when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.
Send this to other grandparents, almost grandparents, or heck, send it to everyone. It will make their day.

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1601- Secret Of Enjoyment: Objectivity

Jaya Row
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(1)Pain is a given, but suffering is a choice:
Everyone faces obstacles in life. They are part of life. You can choose to be victim or victor, succumb to setbacks or rise above them. Life is like a game. Some times you win, at other times you lose. You have to be able to take it in your stride.

(2)If you depend on the constantly changing, unpredictable world you will get crushed by it:
Learn to be self-reliant. The world will bow to you.
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Spiritual development is inversely proportional to your dependence on the world.
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The more you lean on it, the less you get. The less you need the more you get!

(3)Vedanta helps you become independent of the world and enables you to gain more from it:
An enlightened master is totally independent, yet has the world at his feet!

(4)There are three states of balance ­ restless, fragile and steady.
The lowest is when you are like a cone on its apex, totally dependent on external factors.
The intermediate state is when you are like a cone on its side ­ calm by yourself but the slightest fluctuation creates long spells of mental agitation. Be like a cone resting on its base. Nothing will topple or overwhelm you. You will be constantly at peace irrespective of what the world offers.

(5)Every challenge is an opportunity to grow:
The way out is to build inner reserves. Gain knowledge of your real worth. Fluctuations of the world will no longer traumatise you. They will only amuse and entertain you. Assess people and situations what they are, not what you would like them to be. Then you will not have unrealistic expectations and disappointments. Defer decisions if your mind is clouded. Consult a clear thinker who will throw fresh light on the matter. Get a sense of humour!

(6)The spiritual path does not demand change of lifestyle, wardrobe or location:
You do not have to move away from family , friends or career. It only calls for a change of attitude. Move from the mindset of -
taking, to that of giving. The law is ­ give, you gain; grab, you lose.
Base your life on serving, adding value to others, offering your talent to a larger cause.
See the miraculous results it brings.

(7)When you have conflict with the people you love most you tend to blame them:
Look within. It is your selfishness that is the cause. You expect people to dance to your tune; you make demands and impose restrictions on them. This makes them want to break free. Love people for what they are. Accept them with their faults and idiosyncrasies. Learn to be self-sufficient. You will enjoy their presence and not miss them when they are gone. They will love you dearly .

(8)Objectivity is the secret of enjoyment:
You are able to `enjoy' tragedy , even murder, and horror on screen, because you know you are apart from it. Similarly you are an actor on the stage of life. Play your role to the best of your ability , wholeheartedly . Exit when the time comes.

(9)You are your Self:
You have nothing to do with the roles you play . You seem to have lost your identity . Understand who you are. The world will lose its sting. You will enjoy the roles and retreat into an oasis of Bliss when your part is over.
(Aug 01 2014 : The Times of India (Chennai) THE SPEAKING TREE )
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1579- OMG! This poem made me in tears..

please make your kids read it too...
Very Touching Poem
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Don't mix drinking and driving.
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I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet..

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon..

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "GOOD BOY " on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?
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!529- Marjala kishora Nyaya!!

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In Hindu philosophy, there are many arguments about the relation between Bhakta (Soul or Devotee) and Bhagavanta (The Lord or God whatever). There are two categories of Bhaktas. Before that we have to understand
(1) Maarjaala Kishora Nyaya and
(2) Markata Kishora Nyaya.

Maarjaala is the Sanskrit word for Cat.
Markata in Sanskrit means Monkey.
Translated it becomes Cat Nyaya and Monkey Nyaya. .

(1)Whenever a cat moves around with the kittens, it carries the young ones in its mouth. Holds the kitten firmly enough in the mouth so that they do not fall down and at the same time hold gently enough so that the kittens are not injured. Kittens have no responsibility at all. Mother cat assumes all the responsibility. This is Maarjaala kishora nyaya.So God takes care of his bhakta like the cat does with its kitten.
Here in the picture shown above, the boy wants his mother to follow "marjala kishora nyaya".
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(2) When the mother monkey carries around baby monkeys, the baby monkey has to hold firmly to the belly of mother monkey. Mother monkey keeps moving and jumping around trees as if it is alone. If the baby monkey does not hold firmly, it will fall down and get seriously injured. Entire responsibility is of the Baby Monkey and mother has no responsibility. This is' Markata kishora nyaya'. Here, it is the bhakta's responsibility to hold to God.
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(Round the clock stories)

1441- Completely finished!

1431- WIFE & HUSBAND

1415- Jest joking! --- Mothers know! (Domain knowledge)

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👪 There was a family with one kid.
One day the mother was out and dad was in charge of the kid, who just turned three.

Someone had given the kid a little 'tea set' as a birthday gift and it was one of his favourite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news, when kid brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise from father for such yummy tea, kid’s Mom came home.

Dad made her wait in the living room to watch the kid bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!!'

Mom waited, and sure enough, the kid comes down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then she says to him, 'Did it ever come to your mind that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet commode ?'

....Mothers know!!!

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Domain knowledge is very important!!! Else your supplier will trick you..😅😅😅

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1391- Letting Go!

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1342- A wife

 via Facebook/ Buzzintown

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